I can greatly appreciate the beautiful things in life such as music, literature, film, art, etc etc. But maybe I don't belong in that category. Any of it. I can't find myself with it. I am outside of what all the things I love.
It breaks my damned heart that I am not a musician, most of all. How is it that I can love music and let it be the one aspect of my life that I am completely naked to, but I am not actually a musician myself? I can appreciate everything about music, criticize it, adore it, indulge in it, recognize it. But that's it. Good music is such a part of my life but I am not part of music. It saddens me. I have always wanted to have such an affect on someone that music has done to me. With all my favorite musicians, I commend them for ripping open into people's live, for letting them empathize and feel certain things that signify all our connections. If I only had the power to do that...
But this is just me being a pessimist for now. In the long run, I'll find something. I'll find that one passion that will leave its mark. I will leave my mark. I have always told the amazing people in my life the greatness that they will show this world, but I think it's time I tell myself that. One day, I will show this world my greatness. One day, I won't be the scum of the earth anymore.
Watch your girl shine.
It breaks my damned heart that I am not a musician, most of all. How is it that I can love music and let it be the one aspect of my life that I am completely naked to, but I am not actually a musician myself? I can appreciate everything about music, criticize it, adore it, indulge in it, recognize it. But that's it. Good music is such a part of my life but I am not part of music. It saddens me. I have always wanted to have such an affect on someone that music has done to me. With all my favorite musicians, I commend them for ripping open into people's live, for letting them empathize and feel certain things that signify all our connections. If I only had the power to do that...
But this is just me being a pessimist for now. In the long run, I'll find something. I'll find that one passion that will leave its mark. I will leave my mark. I have always told the amazing people in my life the greatness that they will show this world, but I think it's time I tell myself that. One day, I will show this world my greatness. One day, I won't be the scum of the earth anymore.
Watch your girl shine.
Disintegration.
