"I really do hope that you're happy."

I remember the exact moment when I finally found myself thinking this way about you. It was years ago and I was in my bathroom about to take a shower. I had my phone in my hand, waiting for a text before I stepped in. I always did this when we text. I always delayed the few minutes before stepping in. Well, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a really sad face. I kept switching from staring at my reflection to my feet. And then it hit me. I was always rooting for you. I didn't want to be selfish and be hateful for not having you. I wasn't sad because I didn't have you. I was sad because I felt like a burden. I felt like weight. And so I looked up and let myself take the deepest breath. Then I smiled. And I knew at that moment that I was sincerely happy for you. I was happy that you had it all. That's when the ache in my chest for you began lifting away. That's when it started getting easier.

The same bittersweet taste of that moment is on my tongue right now.