Sigh..

I keep beginning these entries that conclude and sum up my summer, but there's so many memories, and so many to say, but so little time so I end up drafting all of them.

I just..keep trying to say goodbye to this summer. But I can't seem to find a way how. So maybe I just won't.

Summer has been amazing. There is no way I could explain it. You just had to be there.

But I think I have enough energy to do a recognition list. Everyone that made an impact on my summer:

• Mom and Dad
• Granma and Blithe
  
• Sister Riks
• Chebby Chen
• The Dias' family
• Leslie Anne Salvador and the cotillion
  
• Beg for Death: Gus Villaroel, Matthew Scorca, Chris Wies, Kenneth Turner, and of course my best friend, Ramon Villaroel
• Some new friends: LUKE GRONERT, Jordan Brahaney, Patrick Edgely, Karen Cardoza, Alex Exists! Cabrales, Max Landon, Jamie Smith!
  
• The skaters: CODY GARZA! Nathan Franklin, Nathan Warf, Roman Jaquez
• Jarrad RIGG
  
• Taylor Ann Hoover-Hart
• Makayla Danielle Dias
• Fernan Caasi
  
• Of course, my broham, the foundation of my summer, my most consistent summer person, JOYCE mthfckn ACE KEOKHAM
• And last but never the least, my always and forever girl, AIZA CORPUZ
  

My summer wouldn't have been as amazing with out you amazing people. If I'd forgotten anyone, well, I'm sure I'm thankful anyway.

Goodnight.

First Summer Firepit

Graduation

Things I Cannot Reblog

Chen Chen Chebby Chen Chen

Chebby wants me to blog more..

I'd upload a thousand pictures of all the good times I've been having with all the good friends I have, but for now, that's what Facebook is for. Much faster and uploads by bulk. And because Ace just so happens to post the pictures. Not exactly blog, but they're on some considerably blogging website. Good enough for now, until I have it all together again.

Tonight is my last summer night, and for some reason...for summer incredibly famished reason, I went home. Yes, I was so hungry that I decided to go home before midnight tonight. I decided to leave my friends, and go home...and not have anything to do... because I was too famished to be anywhere else. I don't know if it was worth it right now. It's OK.

Tomorrow..or..today, will be the last day of summer. My friends will all be at the show to watch Beg for Death's last show of the summer. I really...do not want to attend. But that means I won't get to spend time with them. It's OK. I don't have school Tuesday. Maybe that'll be the official last day of summer. Majority rules right now after all. I'll spend some time with the person I love waaay too much. Aiz Aiz Aiz Aiz.

Hmmmm. I'm hungry.

Not photogenic at all

WALTZ

He's always been bad with camera he says.

This picture makes me the douchebag of the century

/:

"Watch Calmly Gay Guy at So Frais tonight!"

We finally arrived on the second to last song, while they played "Float On" and it was lovely!


The Villaroel's and the Andrade's. Aiza Andrade.. keke.

She lives with us now guise. My phone is her phone, my slippers are her slippers. It's OUR phone. It's OUR slippers :')

"Word on the street is you guys are best friends..."

Late night porchmonkey, knowing his cranium like the back of my hand, heart to heart talks. Always makes my day!

ANGE

Nicest, best guy ever. With the BEST..by far..nickname for me: Lu. Hella cute

Flouresent Adolescent

And now I'm wondering how many times I've convinced myself that I've loved some...guy that I told myself I loved. When in reality, at the end of it all, the drama and the pain caused (usually caused by me..OK always by me) I forget 'em. They disappear from my life and I don't even take a second to ask where they'd gone. Because...it just doesn't matter to me.

If there was anything I'd really resent myself for, it would probably be the effort that I put into convincing myself, into convincing some guy, into convincing the rest of the world that I'm as in love as I claimed to be. I am certain, absolutely certain that if I've loved anyone I claimed to truly love...I am certain that I wouldn't have hurt them like I did. And afterward.. not gave a damn.

It's almost the end of summer and I'm sitting here, wondering where my relationships have taken me. And I can't recall a single relationship that I've given my all to. My absolute all. I think I've always given my all to the wrong people.

Not to get out of track. My point is, from now on...I will not allow myself to feel something that I have to convince myself to feel. So yes, basically I have lied about all my relationships. This is the conclusion that the summer has led me to. No matter how alone I feel, how easily my emotions could drift me away, I will not get carried away. I refuse to falsely love somebody, ever again. I've done it too many times, broken too many hearts. Enough is enough Ange.

Enough is enough!

...with me. Will you?

Too busy to be a Blogger.

Too busy to be a Blogger.

Well,

I think I just spent an hour on a very long, rant blog about how angry I am for putting myself in this situation.

But as I posted it, I saw how much I didn't need my world to see that. I didn't need my world to know how regretful I feel towards you.. in that intensity. So, I deleted it.

I'm just..upset. I'm upset that at one point in my life, I thought you were the one. I honestly, and stupidly believed that you were the one I was going to be happy with. It makes me feel sick how wrong I was and how I'd terribly convinced myself.

Stupidest thought to ever cross my mind. Stupidest.

How awful.

Just, you know, coastin' by

I always told myself, if I can wake up every morning and truthfully say that I am happy, then all is well. But I had myself thinking, maybe all's well isn't enough. Because I have a good time. I make good memories. I am surround by amazing people. But I miss.. I miss it so much. I miss being in love guise.

I used to think being in love was such a helpless feeling. And it used to tear me apart and kept me away from any medium of a feeling. Being in love intensifies everything about my life. Everything that is my life. It can make me go mad, it really can. I used to wish it away, whether somebody was in love with me back or not.

And now, it's summer, it's beautiful, my life is on full swing of anything that could be infinite. But I catch myself not feeling a thing. Not feeling as good as I should, as bad as I should.

There's no one to keep me up at night anymore, thinking of the good things and the bad. And no one to wake up to, wake up with, wake up for. There's just me. And there's everyone else. And me and everyone else, well, we have good times.

But I am patient. I will love someone again. One of these days..

It was a windy, kite day..

Robot Unicorn, kite unicorn


Bessfrans? Bessfrans..


Jordan trying to race the kite


Cute couple, watching them was like watching a really cute romance flick


Unicorn flyin' high, so high, hyyerr



Made me dizzy, I hate.


Made all of us dizzy, hate.


That day..I fell in love..


Hello majestic Henry..

After Aiz and I spent 3 straght nights together, sleeping alone feels very foreign at the moment..

Six Flags

Sickwidit

The best ride..


Shouka..you are not even cool.



Love each other.



My new favorite shirt. Courtesy of Ace.

Finally home, we were exhausted..

Lelley's Cotillion

After all the stress, the time, the effort, the cold nights in short dancing outside, the free food, the yelling and bickering and bitching.. everything paid off.

Leslie Anne's cotillion, specifically the party, was such a memorable night. The Waltz was perfect, we made our teachers proud and we make Lelley happy. Dinner was good. The performances were entertaining. The speeches--though I was nervous at first--went sweetly. It even got very emotional, but in the good way. Aiz even cried! Awgh, she is precious.

And once the DJ started the party, we danced until we were the last people on the dance floor. The four of us, RV, Aiz, Fernan, and I, tearin' up the dance floor, making friends with everyone, dancing with everyone! We were sweaty and jumping and letting loose and feeling the music. MAN I LOVE DANCING SO MUCH. We still can't stop talking about how fun it was dancing. My legs are still sore!

Overall, just a gooooooooooooooooooooooooood night. We partied hard, we met new people, made friends, talked, chilled at the hotel after. I loved it. Loved it!

This girl..hella dipped with out a warning.. I wish she coulda partied with us..


Aiz spinning me around and around like always..


Why yes, we do have lotsss of fun togethaaaa

I am their favorite (:

She is..MY favorite

Teacher number 1

Teacher number 2


Everyone lookin' good


I don't know if you can see, but I can feel it. Aiza bit me 3 times before the cotillion even started. She spent approximately 3 minutes on each bite. RV said that while were dancing the Waltz, it was the first thing she saw on me..

Mikal's Surprise Party

I took, probably, the shittiest pictures in the entire planet that night. We were all too preoccupied and busy so at some point, I just took my camera and started snapping at everything and everything with it just so we can have somewhat of a recollection that night.

It was successful for the most part. She was happy, and so we're we for making her happy. The glow in the dark theme thing going on was really nice during the night time. And the band was great! Jarrad was a great lead, and everyone throwin' it down! She was a little overwhelmed by all the people, but we had fun. A few of us ended up staying there, but Fernan and I left at 7 in the morning.

Everyone did a swell job, yeh?

Best things in the world

• Late night talks with good friends
• Good vibes
• Perfect weather night
• Bike rides
• Random visits
  
• Offering to pay for other people
• Cool feel of sheets after a warm shower
• Being squeezed tight
• Cruisin' to a good song
• Late night snacking
• Taking endless pictures with someone
• Being told you smell good
• Quenching thirsts
• Receiving a text from someone you were just thinking about
• Rekindling old friendships
• Good hair days
• Short shorts on a warm day
• Holding someone's hand
• Finding a nice picture of yourself
• Common interests with someone
• Well-fit jeans
• Smiling with someone

I feel giddy and happy. What a good, happy night. All thanks to CG.

And some more..

Dear You,

SHUT THE FUCK UP. You're probably the most irritating son of a bitch I have ever encountered in my life. Maybe..not in my life. But at present, at this time, HOW BORED AND ANGRY CAN YOU POSSIBLY BE AT SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T GIVE HALF A FUCK ABOUT YOU? Nobody cares about how angry YOU are because you do not matter. Not even in the slightest. Not even at all. So please, shut up.

Dear You,

I don't know what happened to you but talking to you is a pain in my ass.

Dear You,

If you must know, I was in no way part of your past. If you're doubting his truth, then that's all on you. But the only aspect of..whatever this is..that I am involved in is...well.. nothing. Because my present isn't your present. Your past is not my past. We have no connection in anything at all at this point. Social networking websites are making this situation--that doesn't exist might I add-- into something absurdly dramatic. But I guess bottom line is, believe what you will.

Mikal's Birthday

Makayla Danielle Dias, the last of the '10 graduates to finally become legal. She is a beaut. Always have been, always will.


This may be the best picture ever. Everyone crammed in Luke's hallway, chillin' and livin', L-I-V-I-N!

And finally, our picture together. The first time I laid eyes on it, I marveled! Though my only regret is that I cannot see her face. I wish you could see just how happy she was. She was smiling the biggest smiles and laughing the most gracious laughs. She kept turning to me and I saw her happiness flash right before my eyes. And believe me, there's no better feeling than seeing the people you love, flash you with the sight of their happiness. It's amazing. It completely made my night to see how happy she was.