I just had the most uncomfortable sleep of my life. I tossed and turned more than I can recall. I had no pillows. The wall was pushing at me, and on the other side, an ass sandwiched me against the wall. My phone kept vibrating. And every time I read the texts, it was of something incredibly stupid. My dreams were haunting and irritating. My semi-conscious thoughts were getting lost. I was hot and cold all at the same time. And when I finally decided to wake up... The bed cover decided to eat my hair or something. Because it looked like I shed.

Over all of that, the prior concern that wouldn't let me be was the thought that dragon queen is deciding to say good bye to me. It scares me. It scares me, and relieves me all at the same time.

I kept saying to myself that I think I'm in trouble. I haven't felt so crazy in so long. Literally insane for being so happy and so worried all at the same time. Ever since I watched 500, I'd been finding myself feeling sad. But not because that was accurately how I felt. But because the whole thought and idea of the movie is just sad. And the music, the soundtrack of that movie devastates me. I mope, and I pout, and I pace around my house, wondering why the hell I feel so bloody sad. And at first, I couldn't reach a conclusion because I know that I'm happy. I know that I am at my best. But I swear, the music... It confused the hell out of my core.

Back to my point, Taylor said that this is me being a teenager. That we feel this way, feel this emotional, and feel this infatuated at some point. I'm just so surprised, so astonished. You could, at this point, scrape my jaw off the pavement. She said I had absolutely nothing to worry about. I should just accept it as it is.

"The heart asks pleasure first; and then excuse from pain."

It's just... I didn't think dragon queen was going to leave me any time soon. I didn't think there was anyone as of present that could make dragon queen leave.

I suppose... that if she does depart... Then good riddance?

HA.