I have so much to say O_O
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Let's begin with something not-so-light.

...

I was in the RC again today, Responsibility Center (I think?). It's been two days that I've wasted my precious time in there for 3rd block. This is what I get for indecent exposure. Next time, I'll remember to suppress the desire to take off my pants no matter how hottttt it is. NO MATTER HOW HOT! Just kidding, but that's the story I told people. Explaining that I was in the RC because I was learning how to play 13 just does not seem cool enough to even mention. (Carried away now).

So while in the RC...

A part of me wanted to cry. Or expected to cry. But unexpectedly, I didn't feel the warm, simmering eruption that I know would have led to a quiet, tearful digestion of what I already know after reading. I could not feel the weight of what should have been a heavy heart digging a hole in the pit of my stomach, the way it used to way back when. It's like being hit in the head with a beach ball.

This feels like the Butterfly Effect. And not with the alternate endings either. This is the Butterfly Effect. We had tried and tried and relentlessly tried for countless times. They were always different. Always a time. A different scene. Different people. Different reasons. Different hairstyles. But the ending is always the same. It is always a wreckage. It is always a mess. It always gets worse. And it always hurts. But like the theatrical ending of the movie, we are moving forward now. We are walking with the world, all the billions of them on the street. We are on our phones or heading home. We pass by each other, feel the subtle grazes of our shoulders. There's a slight twinge and a slight recognition. It's familiar, but not worth the stop anymore. Our eyes hardly meet but they still touch. And after that nano second of hesitation considering our next step, we move. We move, and we keep moving forward. There is something there. We both know there is something there. But the passersby keep walking, and the scene is a blur of the busy world. We are a part of that busy world. And now, we have accepted the paths of these pavements.

And the last scene of the movie, Evan and Kayleigh pass each other by, both turning around for a quick gaze. But that quick gaze was all they had, nothing more. Just...reminiscence. That's all that's left now.


The credits inevitably roll. Our names marked, and once again, like everything else, they forward to the top of the screen until they're no where in sight.

So your frequently asked question, remembering all the songs we've ever shared, "Is this it?"
We can finally answer.

This is it.

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And now, I'll end this with something light.

D and I went shopping today. Well, I helped him shop. He is so helpless sometimes. He finally bought his baseball tees. He's been wanting those. He finally bought new black pants. He's been wanting those. He finally bought some tshirts. He's been wanting those. He finally bought white basketball shorts. He's been wanting those. And he bought ME black pants. He's been wanting those for me.

"I used to get chest pains every time I heard you say I love you to someone else in front of me but now I know I have it better than everyone else..."

He had a present for me today. Wrapped and topped with a loving monkey, Benjamin Button is finally mine! I guess I should have expected it, but I forgot somehow.

"PS. I hope you're surprised. I hope you like the movie. And if you decide I'm not your date to Prom, I put an extra ticket so that you can take who ever you like.
I love you Angerica Andrade

Dean Dantes"

That was all I needed when the sun was setting behind me.