my extended family finally moved out. as a goodbye present, they decided to greet me with the fact that they--scratch this. it's petty to share but unbearable to keep quiet about. to cut it short, i got robbed, ok? the kind of robbing that only family members can execute. i really do hate families. i detest blood relation. it disgusts me.
intimacy issues pour out of me like sweat. and i'm not one to perspire like an average human being. i tire and lose my breath, but you won't catch me breaking a bead. unless you...WELL. nevermind. if i were to attempt a typical persuasive essay right now, i would avoid topics such as euthanasia, gay rights, and/or abortion. my belief in abortion is like a religion. my own religion. i'm sure if i ever had to go through it myself, i'd repress and lose another chunk of my natural emotional projection. but still, i'd willingly go through with it no matter. which brings me to my point. if i were to write a persuasive essay right now, i'd persuade your emotional soft ass not to ever have your own family. it'd be very personal, which by default i'd lose credibility. but fuck logos anyway. my devices in rhetoric break all the rules (i bet). my device in rhetoric would be this seven year old blog. (remember in 2011....2012? when i tried to terminate my relationship with this damn blog? hilarious bitch). this is not an essay so i won't go through the motion. this is an entry and i'm insisting to make a point that i don't want a fucking family. i don't want to squeeze out my own puppies just so they can grow up and resent/disappoint me. i don't want to have to go scavenging for a dumbass husband just so he can help me produce my own dumbass puppies. i want to die alone, choking on a burrito. i want to die alone, slipping in the shower and breaking my neck on the edge of the bath tub. i want to die alone in hopes that my cat will eat my dead body, all of it, rendering me a missing person. no one would suspect the cat. and if you did, he'd glare at you till you change your mind. then the cops would go looking for me, without a map. and i can only hope to instill a characteristically satisfied smile on my cat's face. i'd be eternally thankful to have my remains inside my god-like cat. and you'll never see me again.
cry for me, i died for me.
ps. if you ever catch me sweatin with my own family, have a heart and hire someone to assassinate me. and mark my words, i'd be important enough to be classified assassinated. in the words of a pile i know, "i'm a star, bitch."
cry for me, i died for me.
ps. if you ever catch me sweatin with my own family, have a heart and hire someone to assassinate me. and mark my words, i'd be important enough to be classified assassinated. in the words of a pile i know, "i'm a star, bitch."
