If you felt the sun today, good job.
-

I don't know why but I've had funny thoughts lately. Funny as in peculiar. Funny as in strange. It's always strange.

Would you ever open a joint account with your significant other? -I have this reliance problem and sometimes I don't differentiate it with being spineless. I LIKE the control I have for myself. I LIKE my sense of independence. I like this sole, strong, and sure thing radiating around me. The definite fact that I never need anyone else to survive through the drudgery. But that definite fact comes to its disadvantages. It gives me a rough time letting people in and letting myself go. And it's not just certain people. It's EVERYBODY. I do not and cannot completely welcome ANYBODY in anymore. There is a certain extent for everyone. Some come in deeper than others. But never far enough. This thought, I find comforting and saddening. Comforting because I know that I will not be that broken again. Saddening because as painful as it is to break, it was fuck great to know how it feels to really be alive.

I am so protective of myself.

Will break. Breaking. Broken. I like conjugating.