Monday, April 6, 2009

Bloody hell,

Monday has never been so good to me.

I can't even believe my mind that tomorrow is going to rain a nice sheet of rain. I am still at the gripping hope that maybe, just maybe those meteorologists have made a terrible mistake about the forecast. It was so beautiful today.
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I can't even believe how much badmouthing I have done today. She is a bitch. She is an absolute bitch. When I attempt to recall the moments when I'd loved her so much...it all dissipates into a thick nothing that is now the pathetic remains of what we'd once called a friendship. How can someone be so bitter that she has poisoned the fucking well that we have all once drank out of? I still cringe at the thought of you so knotted by the drudgery you so tightly refuse to untangle. I just cringe.
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I can't even believe our love. We fight about the stupidest things that become a momentary melodramatic broodfest. I am not afraid to hurt your feelings. I am not afraid to put on a skin so thick that you couldn't touch me. I am not afraid to fight my side of the battle for the sake of letting you know I mean business. Just because this is just the way we are. And this does not bother me because I know what matters, and you and I matter. I would rather fight with you everyday [which we do] than let myself even think with out you. Because I hate you. I hate you so much... I just want to tell the world, you make me want to be better. You do make me better. I love you, you know?
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I can't even believe that I still have yet to develop any of the rolls of film that I have collected over the passed year. I finished a roll today before sunset. I was happy. I decided to come back to buying films and finally devolop those that are collecting dust in my drawer. I want albums of pictures of these people and the rest that matter. I was never much behind the camera, but I'm not much in front of it either. Sometimes, you just have to... BAGHHH!!

I can't even beleive that my window is open, the air smells so good, and the outside is hushed with sounds. I feel...SO bloody incredible.

ARCHIVE, FUCKERS (for Ace-like purposes)