Sand.

I am in proper realization that the person I love most is disappointingly awful to me sometimes. I wish I could take back the way I've softened up and considered to be the most considerate to save my own precious feelings. I never intended to be this way. I just thought... maybe there should be at least one person that I'm perpetually pleasant to. That I constantly care for gingerly and kindly and gently. Because you're sensitive you know. And I can't bare or dare to ever hurt your feelings because it would eat me up. But it's alright. It's always been alright this way. Just alright. We manage.

"That's why I try not to need anything from anyone," a character once said in some show I was watching. I couldn't help it. You flashed in my mind then. I don't want to consider you as the only person I could need if I were to need anyone. I don't want to consider anyone as my need. It's tiring. Self-sufficiency has always been my favorite goal.

And I swear in all that is living if you approach me with this as if I'm talking ill of you... I will fist fight you...