Assume VS. Presume

I struggled to grasp the differentiation, to be honest.

I think I may be afraid to pursue my ambition to be a writer. To be any kind of writer. It's so important to me, in theory, on paper, conceptually. But I never put any effort in prioritizing it. I manage it the same way as I manage my education entirely. I believe that my education is important. But I lack the will and motivation to make it the first on my list of priorities. It's sad really. I cringe at the thought of myself too lethargic and idle and indifferent to thrive, to pursue. I do not have a semblance of any motivation or encouragement or incentive. I remember myself being so ambitious, dreaming even at the most inappropriate moments. But that just became my problem. I never acted on any of it. I left it all inside my head, left them all as dreams instead of unveiling them to the world as my contribution for success. But it's never too late. I still have time. I'm only 19 going on 20 years old this year. Though honestly, that feels fucking old when I'm feeling pessimistic. And this aching pain on my back and shoulders just further add weight on my realization with age. Yesterday I was only 17, getting tangled up in my angsty teenage hormone-driven drama while ignoring my homework and religiously writing on my journal and worrying about my mundane adolescent life. I'm 19 now, and although I now refuse to wallow in those angtsy teenage hormone-driven drama and religiously write on my journal, things haven't changed all that much. Or maybe it has. Maybe I'm just not looking at the big picture...