And that was all she had to say to catch my interest. For as long as I can remember, my grandmother (dad's mom) has always been the epitome of a strong, independent woman. She IS tough love. She's hardworking and selfless, and I'm sure that's where my dad learned that to be. But for as long as I can also remember, I never bothered to learn the story of my grandmother.
Today, my grandmother, White Haired Lady, and I watched a Filipino chick flick. I referred to it as disturbingly cheesy. It was unsettling. But as we watched and went through the notions of the Ooh's, Ahh's, and Aww's, I began getting in touched with a part of myself that I've lost for a while now. I felt like the Filipino girl that I've always been, but always forget to be. It all began when the story unfolded the concept of the most forgiving extent of love. The husband in the movie continuously cheated on his wife, but being the loving wife that she was, she always found it in her heart to forgive him. She always found a grasp of her undying love to him, even as her kids resented him. And as it unfolded, my grandmother began making empathetic comments. And that of course, led to her bringing up her past husband. She kept saying, "Mahirap talaga magmahal na tapat." In translation, she said, "It's difficult truly loving someone." And she repeated it. I learned today that my grandfather had been unfaithful to my grandmother. I have always known about his family on the side, but I never questioned whether it was because of their divorce or if she was left. Her last name remained Andrade after all. I learned that she loved him dearly. I learned that even after he slept with another woman--a woman that worked for my grandmother might I add--impregnated her, left my grandmother, and started another family, in the end... my grandmother would've taken him back. And so after he passed, she decided to take back his coffin from his other family. Her children brought him home to her. And her love remained... It still remains to this day. She said to us, when you truly love someone to that extent, you carry it around with you forever. It doesn't go away and it won't go away. It's yours.
There I was, astonished by the things she said. There I was envious and awed by the strengths of this woman. She lived her life knowing..always knowing that no matter what, she'll always love him. She'll always forgive him. And she'll always have him, no matter what. She accepted this about herself and she lived with it. She didn't try and let it go, she didn't try to change it, or compromise the only love that she had. And that is one of the most extraordinary things I have ever known of in my life. If I ever had the strength to do what she's been doing... God, if only I do.
Today, my grandmother, White Haired Lady, and I watched a Filipino chick flick. I referred to it as disturbingly cheesy. It was unsettling. But as we watched and went through the notions of the Ooh's, Ahh's, and Aww's, I began getting in touched with a part of myself that I've lost for a while now. I felt like the Filipino girl that I've always been, but always forget to be. It all began when the story unfolded the concept of the most forgiving extent of love. The husband in the movie continuously cheated on his wife, but being the loving wife that she was, she always found it in her heart to forgive him. She always found a grasp of her undying love to him, even as her kids resented him. And as it unfolded, my grandmother began making empathetic comments. And that of course, led to her bringing up her past husband. She kept saying, "Mahirap talaga magmahal na tapat." In translation, she said, "It's difficult truly loving someone." And she repeated it. I learned today that my grandfather had been unfaithful to my grandmother. I have always known about his family on the side, but I never questioned whether it was because of their divorce or if she was left. Her last name remained Andrade after all. I learned that she loved him dearly. I learned that even after he slept with another woman--a woman that worked for my grandmother might I add--impregnated her, left my grandmother, and started another family, in the end... my grandmother would've taken him back. And so after he passed, she decided to take back his coffin from his other family. Her children brought him home to her. And her love remained... It still remains to this day. She said to us, when you truly love someone to that extent, you carry it around with you forever. It doesn't go away and it won't go away. It's yours.
There I was, astonished by the things she said. There I was envious and awed by the strengths of this woman. She lived her life knowing..always knowing that no matter what, she'll always love him. She'll always forgive him. And she'll always have him, no matter what. She accepted this about herself and she lived with it. She didn't try and let it go, she didn't try to change it, or compromise the only love that she had. And that is one of the most extraordinary things I have ever known of in my life. If I ever had the strength to do what she's been doing... God, if only I do.
