I feel like I shouldn't listen to Bon Iver just because it's so damn good but so god damn sad. I can't explain this feeling. It's similar to the Sunday evening feeling. It's like listening to The Cure. Except...more subtle. It makes me feel younger.
Whenever I try to describe this feeling, or when I do feel this, I am always reminded by this memory from my childhood. We all went to the park for the day. All of us. My mom, my dad, I think my sister was already born, maybe not, my cousins, uncles, aunts, everyone. And I can't remember at all what we did that day, or anything at all. I just remember that I had a good day and I didn't want it to end. But the sun went down, and we all started getting quiet. I remember we went to this little plaza to find a place to eat. The squareness of the place was so distinct to me. The way I clung on to hands, the way I played around. I remember smiling. I remember running. I remember it was dark, and the light reflected a blue on everyone's faces. Everyone was so happy.. And I can't remember eating, or what happens after, but I do remember when it was time to go home. I remember being in the car, resting my head on the window, looking out and being attentive of Christmas lights and decorations passing and the song playing in the taxi. I don't remember the song, but I remember acknowledging the way it made me feel. It wasn't exactly a sad song, but I felt sad ...and happy...and complete... and lonely...and I felt this ache in my chest and felt a lump in my throat. And that was the first time I felt ...so alive. I felt everything, EVERYTHING. My happiness was so overwhelming that I caught a taste of sadness. I was satisfied and disappointed, I felt everything I could've possibly felt and I sunk myself under it. I don't think I was even 6 years old when I felt this. Perhaps younger...
But now, every time... I recall to this memory. And I try to trace back and figure this out... make sense of it. I'm looking for a reason, a catalyst. But I can never remember that far behind. I just know that sometimes...I hate it. I hate not getting a grasp of it. I hate the swelling of my chest when I feel this. It's like I am choking on the entire universe and all it consists. But at the same time, I am completely in love with it. It is one of the most amazing things I have ever felt in my life, and I always wonder if other people feel this way too. If anyone else can understand this...
This is not the sound of a new man or a crispy realization
It's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away
Your love will be
Safe with me
Whenever I try to describe this feeling, or when I do feel this, I am always reminded by this memory from my childhood. We all went to the park for the day. All of us. My mom, my dad, I think my sister was already born, maybe not, my cousins, uncles, aunts, everyone. And I can't remember at all what we did that day, or anything at all. I just remember that I had a good day and I didn't want it to end. But the sun went down, and we all started getting quiet. I remember we went to this little plaza to find a place to eat. The squareness of the place was so distinct to me. The way I clung on to hands, the way I played around. I remember smiling. I remember running. I remember it was dark, and the light reflected a blue on everyone's faces. Everyone was so happy.. And I can't remember eating, or what happens after, but I do remember when it was time to go home. I remember being in the car, resting my head on the window, looking out and being attentive of Christmas lights and decorations passing and the song playing in the taxi. I don't remember the song, but I remember acknowledging the way it made me feel. It wasn't exactly a sad song, but I felt sad ...and happy...and complete... and lonely...and I felt this ache in my chest and felt a lump in my throat. And that was the first time I felt ...so alive. I felt everything, EVERYTHING. My happiness was so overwhelming that I caught a taste of sadness. I was satisfied and disappointed, I felt everything I could've possibly felt and I sunk myself under it. I don't think I was even 6 years old when I felt this. Perhaps younger...
But now, every time... I recall to this memory. And I try to trace back and figure this out... make sense of it. I'm looking for a reason, a catalyst. But I can never remember that far behind. I just know that sometimes...I hate it. I hate not getting a grasp of it. I hate the swelling of my chest when I feel this. It's like I am choking on the entire universe and all it consists. But at the same time, I am completely in love with it. It is one of the most amazing things I have ever felt in my life, and I always wonder if other people feel this way too. If anyone else can understand this...
This is not the sound of a new man or a crispy realization
It's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away
Your love will be
Safe with me
Re: Stacks by Bon Iver
