Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Story of her Life; The 320 pound frog

Every day, he watches her park her car from across where he lived. He walks with a limp. He dresses like a norte and may be missing several of his teeth. She thought he would kill her, not love her. Age? Unknown. Much older considering that he walks with a cane.

These are the direct descriptions from Joyce Keokham about her secret admirer, Matthew. He doesn't know her name, and he never will she says. In response to this cryptic gesture, she was appalled and disturbed, so she gave me every gift article. My question is... why does the frog weigh 320 lbs? How can this secret admirer expect to give a gift that weighs 3 times as much as the person? Her guesses are...there's probably a GPS tracker inside the frog. Or perhaps a camera. Just as we had thought about another friend's stuffed animal, Kickball the Penguin.

I am looking forward to displaying these items in my room. I almost feel as if I am a part of the greatest downfall of a man's future estranged being.



ARCHIVE, FUCKERS (for Ace-like purposes)