There's a different sense of satisfaction you get when happiness finds you, as to you trying to find happiness. I understood the concept of always choosing happiness, and ever since I heard this speech from my coach, I took the liberty of pursuing a lifestyle like such. I don't know if luck is on my side, or if I am just being prolonged for karma to hit me HARD someday.
But I am the most fortunate person I know. And no matter what happens, no matter which people I lose, which I gain, which clothes I wear, or how I cut my hair. I still end up being very happy at the end of the day.
At the end of the day, I just lay in the dark, and think of everyone. Everyone in my life that I can think of at that moment. I acknowledged how they have impacted me, insignificant or unforgettable, and I remind myself.. how can anyone ask for more? If I had any more than what I have, well it would be excessive, wouldn't it? Or so it feels like it.
And yes I catch myself acting up sometimes, but I can still make mistakes, no matter how fortunate, right?
At the end of the day...
I have won what I can win. The things that matter most. And I am glad to know that I cannot be broken down into severed, unrecognizable little pieces. And no, not because I always put a guard up. But because, it's refreshing and relieving to know that if anyone was to break me, it could only be me. I have learned to give myself that power only, at this moment in my life. And if I find that person again, that person that can break me down, well, I can only imagine how well I'll come out of that hell. Because with this one, I feel damn good.
I don't mean to sound as if I am bragging, because.. well actually I could be. But no, that's not my point. My point is...
I was that girl that cried over every fucking little bad thing that happened to me. I fell to my knees at the small sign of something bad. I was so incredibly weak, and so incredibly spoiled, that no one else could have hated me as much as I hated myself. And I was at it, moping, sulking and skulking around like there was no one else in the world but me. But I left that part of me, somewhere back there. And here I am, taking control, and taking responsibility.
I choose to live completely now. I know, about time right?
But I am the most fortunate person I know. And no matter what happens, no matter which people I lose, which I gain, which clothes I wear, or how I cut my hair. I still end up being very happy at the end of the day.
At the end of the day, I just lay in the dark, and think of everyone. Everyone in my life that I can think of at that moment. I acknowledged how they have impacted me, insignificant or unforgettable, and I remind myself.. how can anyone ask for more? If I had any more than what I have, well it would be excessive, wouldn't it? Or so it feels like it.
And yes I catch myself acting up sometimes, but I can still make mistakes, no matter how fortunate, right?
At the end of the day...
I have won what I can win. The things that matter most. And I am glad to know that I cannot be broken down into severed, unrecognizable little pieces. And no, not because I always put a guard up. But because, it's refreshing and relieving to know that if anyone was to break me, it could only be me. I have learned to give myself that power only, at this moment in my life. And if I find that person again, that person that can break me down, well, I can only imagine how well I'll come out of that hell. Because with this one, I feel damn good.
I don't mean to sound as if I am bragging, because.. well actually I could be. But no, that's not my point. My point is...
I was that girl that cried over every fucking little bad thing that happened to me. I fell to my knees at the small sign of something bad. I was so incredibly weak, and so incredibly spoiled, that no one else could have hated me as much as I hated myself. And I was at it, moping, sulking and skulking around like there was no one else in the world but me. But I left that part of me, somewhere back there. And here I am, taking control, and taking responsibility.
I choose to live completely now. I know, about time right?
