She told me that I'm doing better than she did. And I agree. I agree completely. But at the stage I'm in, it is so easy to feel like the biggest asshole.

I am sorry that I am dragon queen. I cannot find myself baring myself completely as how I'd used to before. It's exhausting that way you know. I'd feel so naked, so exposed, so unguarded. And it's so unfortunate that I've found this person... This person who treats me like a princess and fights for everything that would please me just to see me happy... but I am so heavily guarded that I'd barely looked at him in the eye and unveiled myself as someone at the peek of thankfulness and happiness. I couldn't even do that.

I am dragon queen. I have my guards readily standing by the high walls of castle. And I keep myself in there, occasionally open for visitors. But never hospitable enough to offer anyone to stay the night.

As of right now, I can hear the faint fireworks of the city next door. But all I can think about is how I'd gotten so alone in so little time. I hate to admit it, but you took a great deal of my happiness with you. And it doesn't matter where this whole thing will lead us. It doesn't matter that things will stir up again. Doesn't matter that things will come up again. Now, just for now, I am sad. I am empty now. And I want to cry now.

Hysteric?

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