You Are The Dark
"But the dream about the autumn leaves
And you were one
Falling in the sun
Where are you now?
And you were one
Falling in the sun
Where are you now?
I'm exhausted.
And when exhaustion hits, my mind seem to settle in a cozy little affair with thoughts of death. Thoughts of accidents, and incidents, and vanished existences, and morbidity that I've yet to point the origins of.
Back in elementary school, I once decided that when I were to die, I wanted to die a slow, tragic death. I said to my schoolmates that I'd be stabbed through the heart. And I meant it. I guess I convinced myself that I deserved it.
I imagine myself in endless car accidents. I catch myself sitting in a car and playing a complete scene. Sometimes I survive, sometimes I'm in the coffin. I don't know, but I never seem to imagine my life as an adult aging to death. I always die early in my head.
I mean it, I'm not suicidal. There are rare occasions that I wake and realize there are some things really worth living for. But unless those days are here, I become exhausted.
I shift to auto pilot and pretend.
It's a deep, hollow exhaustion.
And when exhaustion hits, my mind seem to settle in a cozy little affair with thoughts of death. Thoughts of accidents, and incidents, and vanished existences, and morbidity that I've yet to point the origins of.
Back in elementary school, I once decided that when I were to die, I wanted to die a slow, tragic death. I said to my schoolmates that I'd be stabbed through the heart. And I meant it. I guess I convinced myself that I deserved it.
I imagine myself in endless car accidents. I catch myself sitting in a car and playing a complete scene. Sometimes I survive, sometimes I'm in the coffin. I don't know, but I never seem to imagine my life as an adult aging to death. I always die early in my head.
I mean it, I'm not suicidal. There are rare occasions that I wake and realize there are some things really worth living for. But unless those days are here, I become exhausted.
I shift to auto pilot and pretend.
It's a deep, hollow exhaustion.
_
