It was plum. All I had eaten that day was one juicy and delicious plum. After the plum was more purple. Or maybe just green. Just that chronic. After my night, I remember driving like a maniac while giving myself positive feedback. Positive reinforcement and constructive criticism. I even praised myself for doing "such a great job," I think. I don't even remember the drive back, never mind. So there I was on the road, resisting to let that disgusting lurch jump out of my mouth while I was steady glued on the steering wheel. Gag. Gag. Gag.
Next thing I knew, I was at the Mcdonald's drive-thru ordering an unusually large order for a girl alone in a fat SUV. I probably looked ridiculous. Maybe just comical. Small girl in big car, eyes as red as the devil's dick, with a beaming smile, ordering 4 plain sandwiches, 2 large fries, and 20-piece chicken nuggets. Good thing my brother was home. I began to drive off after receiving the last of my order (the delayed large french fries). But before I could make my way home, the lurch ascended up my throat and fought for my attention again. Gag. Gag. Gag.
I made a complete circle (I think) and found a space of my liking to park in. There I was, the engine shut off, the aroma of fried food pushing up my nose, and the lurch putting up a fight. My head swiveled a quick 360 for my eyes to scan. I opened the door, bent my head down, and unleashed the lurch. Purple. I wondered why it was purple at first. It almost reminded me of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Or anything Willy Wonka related. It was quick, I thought. I closed the door, started the car, pulled out, and drove off into what could have been the unknown. But the unknown was my home. I just needed to figure out how to get there. Every time I have to find my way on the road, I have to force my mind to bust out a brain blast. A focused and intent way of thinking. Like forcefully remembering something that you've clearly forgotten. Normally, I wouldn't think that I could forget how to get home. But normally isn't normal anymore when everything in your life turned to purple.
I can't recall how but I arrived home safely. I do remember that the neighbors had on their sprinkler which was overlapping onto our driveway which meant that my door was getting wet. I remained seated until I thought of how I could get out of the car without getting wet. My ingeniousness told me to hop on over to the passenger side and exit through there. Grabbing my bags of fried foods, my lunchbox, my satchel, my hat, my Woody's flannel, and what was left of my dignity, I hopped out of the car successfully. No lurch. No gag. Just a triumphant hop and a victorious entry through my front door.
With a bit more luck, I managed to divide my large McDonald's order between me and my brother. That night, he received a plain McDouble, large fries, and ten-piece chicken nuggets. I tried giving him more, but he said it was too much. I don't know why, but after telling me that there had been too much, an absurd thought formed in my head. A thought that told me I had to finish the rest of the food I ordered. For as long as I have known myself (nearly 20 years to be specific), I have never finished any food. Any meal, any snack sometimes. And so challenging myself into finishing all the food didn't really make sense, but I jumped in on it anyway.
I walked into my room, placed the bag of food by my pillows, and collapsed onto my bed, face down. I was unable to breathe after several minutes of facing down and I'm pretty sure I heard my grandmother peek in my room to find me passed out. My head spun. My body ached. I couldn't think of one concrete thought without a swirling dizziness take me away. When I finally got my head up, the first thing I did was turn on my laptop and googled pictures of Oscar Wilde. I didn't even realize what I had done until I recently saw open tabs of pictures of Oscar Wilde. Anyway. I saw the bag of food and thought to eat. Eating would be good, I thought. My dizziness might just go away. So I pulled myself up. I went from the first McDouble, to the second, to the 10-piece chicken nuggets, to the McChicken, and lastly to the fries. The next thing I remember was seeing Rae appear in my room, laughing at something I did, and laying down beside me while drowning me with thousands of kisses. From there, I went in between naps, to those thousands of kisses, to finishing up my fries, to listening to Vaggy say things, to falling asleep entirely, Rae gone, my head hanging off of the foot of my bed, lights off, and my sister's ass facing me. Why didn't she wear pants when she knew she'd fall asleep on my bed? I don't know. But this is the longest entry about puke. Ever.
Next thing I knew, I was at the Mcdonald's drive-thru ordering an unusually large order for a girl alone in a fat SUV. I probably looked ridiculous. Maybe just comical. Small girl in big car, eyes as red as the devil's dick, with a beaming smile, ordering 4 plain sandwiches, 2 large fries, and 20-piece chicken nuggets. Good thing my brother was home. I began to drive off after receiving the last of my order (the delayed large french fries). But before I could make my way home, the lurch ascended up my throat and fought for my attention again. Gag. Gag. Gag.
I made a complete circle (I think) and found a space of my liking to park in. There I was, the engine shut off, the aroma of fried food pushing up my nose, and the lurch putting up a fight. My head swiveled a quick 360 for my eyes to scan. I opened the door, bent my head down, and unleashed the lurch. Purple. I wondered why it was purple at first. It almost reminded me of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Or anything Willy Wonka related. It was quick, I thought. I closed the door, started the car, pulled out, and drove off into what could have been the unknown. But the unknown was my home. I just needed to figure out how to get there. Every time I have to find my way on the road, I have to force my mind to bust out a brain blast. A focused and intent way of thinking. Like forcefully remembering something that you've clearly forgotten. Normally, I wouldn't think that I could forget how to get home. But normally isn't normal anymore when everything in your life turned to purple.
I can't recall how but I arrived home safely. I do remember that the neighbors had on their sprinkler which was overlapping onto our driveway which meant that my door was getting wet. I remained seated until I thought of how I could get out of the car without getting wet. My ingeniousness told me to hop on over to the passenger side and exit through there. Grabbing my bags of fried foods, my lunchbox, my satchel, my hat, my Woody's flannel, and what was left of my dignity, I hopped out of the car successfully. No lurch. No gag. Just a triumphant hop and a victorious entry through my front door.
With a bit more luck, I managed to divide my large McDonald's order between me and my brother. That night, he received a plain McDouble, large fries, and ten-piece chicken nuggets. I tried giving him more, but he said it was too much. I don't know why, but after telling me that there had been too much, an absurd thought formed in my head. A thought that told me I had to finish the rest of the food I ordered. For as long as I have known myself (nearly 20 years to be specific), I have never finished any food. Any meal, any snack sometimes. And so challenging myself into finishing all the food didn't really make sense, but I jumped in on it anyway.
I walked into my room, placed the bag of food by my pillows, and collapsed onto my bed, face down. I was unable to breathe after several minutes of facing down and I'm pretty sure I heard my grandmother peek in my room to find me passed out. My head spun. My body ached. I couldn't think of one concrete thought without a swirling dizziness take me away. When I finally got my head up, the first thing I did was turn on my laptop and googled pictures of Oscar Wilde. I didn't even realize what I had done until I recently saw open tabs of pictures of Oscar Wilde. Anyway. I saw the bag of food and thought to eat. Eating would be good, I thought. My dizziness might just go away. So I pulled myself up. I went from the first McDouble, to the second, to the 10-piece chicken nuggets, to the McChicken, and lastly to the fries. The next thing I remember was seeing Rae appear in my room, laughing at something I did, and laying down beside me while drowning me with thousands of kisses. From there, I went in between naps, to those thousands of kisses, to finishing up my fries, to listening to Vaggy say things, to falling asleep entirely, Rae gone, my head hanging off of the foot of my bed, lights off, and my sister's ass facing me. Why didn't she wear pants when she knew she'd fall asleep on my bed? I don't know. But this is the longest entry about puke. Ever.
