Letters; Day 11 - A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Dear both my grandfathers,

I grew up never knowing what it's like to really have a granpa. I was surrounded by all these granma's that loved me and took care of me. But you two were so alike. In the sense that you both had another family, both left your wives, and every now and then, you'd show up at our house, have lunch, lounge on the couch, and never really say much. Never really say anything.

Sometimes, in the back of my head, I feel like I was always mad at you two that you never bothered to love me. I'm not being a brat, because I did and still have a lot of love going around. But what was so wrong as to loving me too? Loving us? Sticking around? You'll squeeze us in on your very busy schedule when you're not busy with your other families.

I don't know. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. I never knew what it's like to have a grandfather. And lately, I don't know why. But lately, I've been craving a grandfather-like attention. It's probably the only aspect of a relative that I have no memories with. No love, no love.

And before anything, you two just passed, one right after the other. Both on Aprils. Both affecting me only to an extent.

I guess I'm just saying. Just always wanted to have a lola AND a lolo.

Sincerely,
Ange.