Maybe you could tell me that you have your breath taken away too. That it's not too abnormal that it hurts when it's there and it hurts when it's not. And you hold on tighter all the while wanting to let go. Physically excruciating and your breaths come and go. They're deep and long, or fast and short. It's like hyperventilating, choking on your own heart and holding in the rush of what you could only think of as the pain that kills you and keeps you alive every single day.
And you can forgive faster that what your mind can register and before you know it, you're stuck in between the left side, where maybe you'll finally get some sleep at night, while you slowly unclench the fear in between your fingers and cooling the fire in your throat. Or the right side, where you know you'll be up all night, dreaming awake and imagining sleep, holding tighter and safer and diving head first at the bottom of everything where you lose it all.
And every morning, every first sun that streams in, you know it won't be like it was in the dark. It's more accepting now, more sane, and less dramatic. But still, it doesn't take away the fact that you'd just spent hours, disoriented and relinquishing, and now you have to pretend like nothing was wrong at all.
Maybe you could tell me.
Someone has to know too..
And you can forgive faster that what your mind can register and before you know it, you're stuck in between the left side, where maybe you'll finally get some sleep at night, while you slowly unclench the fear in between your fingers and cooling the fire in your throat. Or the right side, where you know you'll be up all night, dreaming awake and imagining sleep, holding tighter and safer and diving head first at the bottom of everything where you lose it all.
And every morning, every first sun that streams in, you know it won't be like it was in the dark. It's more accepting now, more sane, and less dramatic. But still, it doesn't take away the fact that you'd just spent hours, disoriented and relinquishing, and now you have to pretend like nothing was wrong at all.
Maybe you could tell me.
Someone has to know too..
