I'm not afraid to say that this is getting harder for me...

Everyday, I corrupt my mind with all of these thoughts that shouldn't even matter to me. But they're taking me, laying atop of me, and squeezing out what ever is left of me. And I'm never left.

Dean Dantes, I'm running on exhausted. I'm so well-behaved during the day. I'm so solo, so solely with my soul and the energies that have me light in the air. But falling asleep and waking up wrap me so tangled between the ties of my life and the little rips that I never fixed. It just gets bigger.

And I ram it against harder on myself, masochism at best. Like that movie we watched one winter night. He bashed his head on the wall repeatedly, stopping it, fighting it, anything for it just so it's alright again. I want to be alright when I fall asleep and wake up.

But their weight with yours brings me to my knees. I can't waste anything. I just don't know how to change this yet.

PS. I lost my Ipod. I'm upset.