At this hour, Ace would be buying me Tacobell/Jackinthebox rn. She is the perfect wingman.
~I fell asleep on the couch. It is now 513am, and I'm hanging with the Roses~
It's not worth it. If I hesitate, it's not worth it. If it's for other people, it's not worth it. If it isn't for me, it's not worth it. I don't know how many times I have to get shafted/feel fucking shitty before I finally grasp the idea that it's not fucking worth it. Ever.
Kind of wishing I was in the Black Swan rn. There's no way I could disappoint in there.
"Do you have any advil? Tylenol? A rifle?" -on headaches.
Salt swell.
Lately, my coping mechanism for when I am home alone scared or am crawling around my house late at night or when I'm just have a scaredy pants moment, I think about how there's no reason to be scared because there's nothing paranormal that could happen to me that a human couldn't do worse. Humans can always do worse. Humans are the worst.
I have a sippy cup.
Finally had Umami. I dripped. Had a swell beer.
Nights are made for the brewing of misanthropy and misogyny. I really believe that. I hate myself and I hate everyone.
One day, maybe one day, I'll give in to being happy again. Like I did once before. That moment that changed me after high school. And I was fucking happy man. But I'm stupid so that only lasted a year and some odd months before I wanted to feel terribly again. I might always want to feel terribly.
My bed has not had bedding for a moment now. I really should do something about that tomorrow. Or now. Or never. Whatever.
Everyone is asking me about you.
I really fancy wearing black, sleepwear-looking clothes out for the night. They're comfy and excellent.
Turning red might be what turns me off from drinking shots (apart from the whole alcoholism bullshit and dying brain cells recklessness). I'm fucking dumb. Seriously, how and why am I still alive.
Everyone still asks me about you.
"I hate being around people who are sadder than me." Perfect.
How did I get those noodles?
I fancy that person. I find myself thinking of that person. But I am absolutely terrified of everything.
Six different ways inside my heart. Ye The Cure is coming out with a new album in 2014.
I hate you today. I hate you three times today. I hate you three times a day. This entry is really personal, isn't it? Unless they all are. I can't tell anymore.
Goddamn, I am always embarrassing.
