I always refuse to wear my ID when I'm in school because no matter how much I like the crazy look on my face on the damn picture, it looks better hanging off of a rosary in my car. My picture ends up staring at me while I'm out driving around to get lunch. Or when I'm rushing to get to class. Or when I'm cruising home after an expected shitty day. I seriously considered bailing on this whole program the other day. It got me so down that I was about to throw in the goddamn towel (as my instructor had said). But I didn't because $30,000 keep ringing through my ears. Which causes me to cringe and shake. This whole goddamn shit really isn't that bad. It's just not for me. My class seems to like me. I figure it was only because I try my hardest to set myself apart. That this isn't what I want and that I hate goddamn near everyone and I make sarcastic remarks that pokes at their wits. I can see the way they look at me. Kind of like a foreign kid. Kind of like Fez. KIND OF. That doesn't even make sense... I don't even think that's actually true. I just know I feel different when I'm in there. The only thing I truly appreciate about the class is my lack of need to fit in with them (or even join them) but still get along rather well. I can manage to laugh with them and they can manage to tolerate (and be amused by) my cynicism.
Fuck. I have more to study for.
