Taking Advantage of a Pink Camera

Leo visited me at Jude's. I think Dad already started drinking.

Green grapes in our filthy mouths

Blitzkrieg is so uggers

This the prom pictures portion. RV tryna' swoop on my date.

Idk.

That French picture. We think it's French at least.

Yes, crotch.

BEST AND HARDEST GAME EVER. SHARKSSSS!!!!!!

Then Leo left for midnight mass.

Christmas Solos

Because Dad said so.

It's okio, we're all cute anyway.

Cleaning and Rearranging

I had time on my hands so...

Before the cleaning (after the wrapping)

During the cleaning

The rearranging

This one didn't work out, under the window? Eh.

I liked this better, so did Mama

So we kept. Yes?

I couldn't sleep alone the first night 'cause it felt so unfamiliar. So RV slept over x:

Wrapping Presents

He barged in my room telling me he needed to "pack"

I've never let him just stay in my room. I've never let both of them just make a mess.

I won. I finished wrapping first!

Christmas Eve Morning

It was a horrid mess from the night before, Christmas shopping.

JB?!

You are getting Fox and I some Marines hoodies.
Right?![:

I Miss You.

So much.

Emily Haines

Feels Like Summer

Cath...

You Will Be MINE

But My Break Was Going So Good

Friday

This handsome fella'? He surprised me with 500 Days of Summer on DVD for Christmas. Doesn't sound special? Yeah well he got it before the DVD was released!
ADF > you.



Who OWNS shotgun?
JB > you


Fighting at the dinner table... He cried..


Tortellini and dishes


The Vag was so tired. Courtney..?
My girlfriend > you


Driving in her car...
Tam > you

Saturday

We surprised Tami with a PINATA! With pingpong balls inside.


We are a FAMILY!
Pinata > all of us

Break so far (before I was a fugitive).

Fugitive

I ate 5 samwishes in approximately 3 days at the Dias' residence. I slept on the couch with Fox. We watched our movies. We had our good talks. JB endlessly visited me to make sure I was alright. I kept getting harassed by stomach aches, and I peed like Seabiscuit.

But now I'm finally home.

My dad didn't acknowledge me. This was a surprise to me. Generally, he's more understanding, more sympathetic. But he didn't acknowledge me.

My mom put her hand on my shoulder. She called me baby and gently told me to never do it again. She said we'll talk when dad comes back home.

My sister is the same.

My brother is the same.

My grandmother is the same.

And the white-haired lady is the same.

But me, I feel quiet. I had a samwish for dinner.

Ange Fact:

Samwiches are happiness. Self-made or served by someone with love.

And of course,

happy December 19th Chief(:

4 years, different every year.

Tonight, I feel like the biggest idiot. Bigger than I've felt in a while.

No.

I love people that like being at my house with me. Even when we'll end up doing nothing.

I'll always love giraffes...

But those darn sharks are getting cuter and cuter, and so are the whales!

I want a shark shirt.

Ange Wants Paint Room

Midnight blue and cream are still in mind. Maybe? Other suggestions? Creative?

Something not green. I love the green, the green was mine. The green looked like my summers and the things I love. And I think I'll have a tougher time letting it go that I think.

But it's time for new colors to wake up to.

I'll be thinking things over... with PASSION PIT!

Adventures

I'm becoming very aware and paranoid about the time I'm wasting not adventuring. We can't afford time like we did when it was summer.

Every day was an adventure. But it's fall, and it's almost winter, and everyone's busy being productive. And I really have nothing better to do.

I'm worried that I haven't felt infinite in a while, and that's never good for a soul.

Tomorrow will kick off the first day of winter break. And I will not waste time, this is a promise I'm going to make myself.

It's time for me... for us to explore some more. Winter Edition! There's parking lots to race, cupcakes to bake, blankets to warm, songs to dance, and adventures to have.

Promise?

Pinky.

Blood

I was denied the opportunity to give blood today. Apparently I'm underweight for my height or something. But I was able to give blood last year!

Upset: check!

ADF

Darling,

You're making me gain chubs. Special Dark chocolate, they're delicious. But every morning? I'm going to have a heart attack. But I like the Nesquick. And the tangies.

I check you out almost every day and every time I see you. I don't know if I've ever told you that. But there goes the truth.

OkioIloveyou!

PASSION PIT !

When it's good to wake up!

Missed Me?

I never go on this thing anymore, I just post via text.

Hey, Christmas is coming up. I'll be honest, I'm still waiting for the Christmas spirit to sweep me off my feet. I'm still waiting for that warm bubbly feeling inside. It's not here...yet.

The one thing that I'm really not looking forward to are the presents. The Christmas shopping. And the whole mess of it. Honestly, I don't want anything. I don't want anything from anyone and I don't want anyone shopping for me or coming up with anything to give. I've got everything, and the presents just make me feel obligated to give something back. As nice as it is to receive, I really wouldn't mind not getting anything. Just love me and feed me and I'm happy. And to be honest, I don't want to go through the trouble of Christmas shopping either...

I just want to spend time with all my loved ones. I want to spend time with my family, and my friends. I want us to all have a good time and just live in the holiday moment. We've been having a good year, haven't we? And so I want to end it on a good note.

A few of my favorite things lately:

-Cadbury chocolate
-Passion Pit and Phoenix
-Brown leather
-In n Out
-Jose Batacan
-Chief
-Ditching Psychology
-Chicken from Lucky's!!
-Long hair
-Pepsi as an alternative
-Scarves from the men's department
-The $18 in my checking account

We're having good days folks!

My heart hurts.

I really don't want to be alone tonight.

1901

I literally fell in love with this song so many different times today.

"Lie down you know it's easy
Like we did it over summer long..."

"I just wanted to hear breathing..."

I love you, I do.

A Few Days Ago

I wrote on my chemistry table:

"The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person." -Palahniuk, C.

The next day, somebody wrote:

"Very true." beside it. And they erased all the other pencil marks on the table that surrounded the quote and the feedback.

Invisible Monsters

Good, SO good. Made Ange's top 3.

Many thanks to Fox.

I had a dream I was your solid again, and always. Now I can't explain these chest pains.

NJ I love it when you do these

10 things you want for Christmas:
-How about just ten things I want period? My full 18yearold freedom
-A dark teal bag...tehe
-Money.
-Accomplish doing a Christmas shopping
-Gift cards. I just want gift cards.
-Gift cards?
-UHM
-I don't really
-want..
-anything

9 musicians/bands you love:
-Oh jeez..I'll just name some in mind. Yeah Yeah Yeah's
-The Honorary Title
-The Cure
-Circa Survive
-Death Cab for Cutie
-Taking Back Sunday
-The Smiths
-The Strokes
-Bright Eyes

8 things you do every day:
-Text
-Think of writing ideas
-Throw in francais in my conversations
-Drink aloe..if no aloe, then Dr. Pepper.
-Eat
-Shower shower..
-Think about the future
-Get lost in my music

7 things you enjoy:
-Sarcasm and reciting movie lines
-Singing songs out loud with someone singing just as loud
-Meeting new people
-The HUGE moon and red skies.
-Shotgun with my Jabe
-Choosing happiness with my Fox.
-The man in my life

5 favorites:
Movie: So much, but nothing beats Eternal Sunshine and 500 Days of Summer
Song: Never have one. Way too much to favor
Book: Perks of Being a WallFlower is what I say most of the time
Food: Whatever I crave! Pasta usually
Season: I learned that I love every season. I used to be a summer girl. But Fox and Snow changed that for me.

4 smells you enjoy:
-Adrian Rey
-FOX
-Vanilla scented things and/or perfumes that attract me
-Chill night air

3 places you want to go to:
-I will live in France. That's my one significant long term goal.
-Amsterdam
-Finland. 'Cause no one ever checks up on Finland.

2 holidays you love:
-Christmas
-Halloween

1 person you would marry on the spot:
-Right now, Adrian Rey Del Fierro because our babies would be the cutest big headed (from him) babies that charm everyone they're around (from me) LOL.

Domestic Violence Will Tear Us Apart

500 Moment

Tom Hansen: We don't have to label what we're doing. I just... I need some consistency. I need to know that you won't wake up tomorrow and feel a different way.

Summer Finn: I can't promise you that. Nobody can. Anyone who does is a liar.

Everyone thought Summer was a bitch in the movie. But I love her, and I get her! And I felt like her. She's right.

Indifference Follows Bitterness Then Failure To Concentrate

The disadvantages of my being content and happy is that I no longer strive for anything better. I don't intend to try any harder or try to exceed further. It's frustrating really because when I'm happy like this, I lose motivation and I just go with the flow. Yes, sometimes going with the flow just isn't good. At least in this case.

I'm letting things settle on their own, and I don't work hard. It's just stressful to me, and I avoid the stresses of life. I believe that things will work themselves out and no matter what, I'll be alright. Everything will be alright. School for example. I'd never liked school. I didn't mind going because I like to socialize, especially when I was younger. I like to be out of the house. But it's very rare that anything relating to school interests me enough to compel me.

Right now, I've done enough that I can easily graduate. But I'm doing terribly in Chemistry and my parents are pissed off at me. And I sat there at the dinner table this evening and listened to my dad tell me I'm irresponsible. And he's so mad, but I sat there and said nothing. I sat there and stared at the little details of my house that I no longer acknowledge on a daily basis while he vented his frustrations at me. It's like I didn't care, but a part of me wanted to. And a part of me just wanted to get kicked out. They just wouldn't understand. They wouldn't understand if I opened my mouth. They want me to say what they want to hear.

I'm not my sister. I'm not built to do what I'm supposed to do when I'm supposed to do it. I don't follow like that. I don't wake up in the morning and accept my responsibilities. I go with how things go with out putting forth too much effort. Basically, I do what I want. And that makes me irresponsible and selfish, but I get my happiness and for now I'm fine with that. Hm. I don't know how absurd I sound at the moment. I don't know how to clearly explain myself, but I guess I really don't need to, so fuck it.

All I know is I'm looking for something. Something bigger than this, bigger than what my parents want of me. Bigger than what I can only imagine. Something for me. I'm looking for my purpose. And while I try to figure out what exactly it is I want, then I'll be in search, and I'm definitely going about it my way. I hope I find it someday. I'd hate to die not finding my purpose.