Thursday, July 12, 2012

Trying


I've had this guitar for months now and I still have barely made any progress. Alright let me be more truthful. I HAVEN'T made ANY progress...at all. I'm so intimidated and frightened at the mere fucking sight of this thing that I can't get myself to move forward with it. I don't even know where to begin. I'm unmotivated, clueless, and scared. I don't know what I'm so scared of. Maybe because I'm surrounded by my musically talented friends and it's been my oldest dream to pick up a guitar. And now that I finally have the chance... it's like I have stage fright. Which really is stupid because all my friends are so willing to help. Especially Andrey. He's already so proud of me and I haven't even had anything to show or share. But he believes in me. Fuck yeah he believes in me. Every time I surrender my guitar in discouragement, I think about disappointing. And I'm not in the business to disappoint. 

I spent my early mornings playing with the open strings and training my fingers to be fayyyyyst and nibble and amazing. But my fingers are not yet fayyyyst or nibble or amazing. They're still fumbling babies dreaming to  be like their role model Carlos Dengler's fayyyst and nibble and amazing fingers. I'M DREAMING. 

I'll do better. 

ARCHIVE, FUCKERS (for Ace-like purposes)