Poured out earlier. Pardon my weather report, it's just really nice to have a morning like this.
I almost forgot about the fact that this giant retriever with giant paws very insistently tried to hump me last night. I was just having a casual smoke with my friends. And this dog that I kept calling Cody (who was actually named Buster, my b) kept pressing his face on my thigh as we all stood around. Mind that we were informed on the kind of lonely dog that he is. Also mind that I'm not in any way a pet person. I had been taking a drag when the dog got on his hind legs. My very initial thought was, 'Oh this is cute. He wants to dance or something.' What astonishment washed over me when I realized that he wanted so much more than to waltz with me. And as I tried to back away and push him off, the damn bastard kept trying to mound me. I found myself in panic, in such great panic that all I could manage of myself was my helpless back-shuffling away from that goddamned dog. He was insufferable. No matter how forcefully I pushed him off, he kept lunging at me anyway. Eventually my appalled panic became so unbearable that jsmke had to pry the dog away from me. And beyond the prying off of me, he had to hold him down to keep him off for the rest of the night. I'm sad to say that I felt violated. I was supposed to understand. He's a dog after all. A dog locked up inside an empty house all day all the time. But I felt violated anyway. I felt my trust being broken. I thought we became old chaps, the dog and me. I petted him. I was kind to him. I even grabbed his face and told him we were friends. Well, the night went so bad that he had to be closely supervised around me. As in, my buddies had to take shifts watching him because every time the dog had a moment to himself, he would seek for me and try his best shot. I couldn't sit down, and every time I found him near me, I kept a chair between us. I was actually quite mercilessly unforgiving. He's a dog after all, sure. But even dogs should understand acceptable behavior. Neo-feminism has me by the throat, and I can't excuse a damn thing. Not even the poor behavior of a fucking dog. I did feel slightly bad for cutting ties with my quadruped pal. I couldn't even look at his face. But I felt his risen anxiety when he noticed we were all leaving. He knew he'd be alone again in that old, creaking house. My heart ached for him, but I still couldn't look at his face. Not even to say goodbye.
What strange relationships I build with everything.
