with your secretive timing
she was a manic depressive named laughing boy
i take comfort in pretending to be asleep. i get tired of being tired, but i always end up retiring to lie still. my head throbs like a reminder. my head throbs a very unforgetting fuck. i have too many tendencies and i don't ever feel like screaming. groan from one morning to the next. groaning grows quickly but exhausts quicker. it's laughable because this is what alright looks like. this is what fine feels like. this is for treading, because the passed months have been worse. the passed months were vicious. so if this calm is what alright looks like, if this calm is what fine feels like, i can't begin to think about whether this is worse than what i've felt was worse.