I always forget how terrified of birds I am until I encounter them. This morning, I arrived at work to find a brood of turkeys attempting to cross the street as I was pulling up to park. Four hideous abominations blocked my way. I had to wait till they gathered to one side of the street. I thought, these bastards are ugly and stupid. When I finally parked, I was too afraid to step out of my car. Entirely paranoid by literally any moving creature, I opened my door and jumped at the sight of a cat across the street from me. Incidentally, we both jumped at the sight of each other. And I thought maybe he saw the turkeys and was also instilled with the same fear I was suffering from. The cat and I, in that moment, were one and the same. But still, after we pissed ourselves, I slammed my door and listened to my heart beat out of my ears. My head swiveled to my surroundings, snapping my neck. For the love of Satan, I nearly prayed for my life because I pathetically dreaded stepping out of my car. Bravely, I mustered all my courage (while steadying my shaking knees) and opened my door. I bit my jaw down, still swiveling, and ran towards the door. I fumbled with the keys because their backyard is a forrest floor on its own, and I was afraid that another flock would be waiting for my by the door. I finally unlocked it, but for once in all my shifts, the chain was locked. So I knocked. With failed composure, I knocked frantically while my eyes darted to anything that moved. Coincidentally, four squirrels were playing with each other by the pool. Slightly pissed myself. Just slightly. I was much relieved it was just the squirrels. Justin unlocked the door for me, then I rushed inside, hyperventilating from the crap of terror that struck all my nerves.
The bastards. I am most hopelessly petrified when they're around. This irrational, stupid fear almost made me late for work. God damn.
