I just don't want to be a nurse. I know it's safe and I know it's stable and I could probably make my parents incredibly proud if I ever change my mind and settle for it, but I don't fit in that picture. I don't want to fit in that picture. I can already imagine working myself to exhaustion to be a nurse, become a nurse, marry my really nice, Filipino, steady boyfriend of a few years, have little Filipino babies, attend Filipino parties, and continue being a nurse so my kids can maybe try to do the same. Maybe one day my mind will change, but right now, all I know is I don't want to be a nurse. I don't want to fall into that category. I want to stubbornly be a fucking scum until I know exactly what I can live with. I want to do something that will keep me from feeling like my insides are rotting with routine. I just want to be able to say I did things through out my life. A lot of...things. But what the fuck am I talking about? I have to let the party end some time...do I?
