Fuck.

I began wishing I wasn't there. Like the planets aligned wrong and I entered time too soon or too late or goddamn, I don't know. I was physically squirming out of my skin. It reminded me of the full intent of wanting to set that gazebo on fire. We made a fire so big that if we just kept walking away, the entire thing would've set ablaze. And no one would have to know. And that secret could've been mine to keep. I could've smirked at overhearing anyone speak of it. But this is just because I'm angry. I'm so fucking angry. I keep hating everything around me. Nothing is interesting and I'm stuck in this rut in my mind where I can't shake anything off. I can't fucking talk to anyone because I'm partially stupid and cold and I wouldn't want to waste anyone's time anyway. Gay. Gay, gay. Fucking gay.

There isn't a single person that I can grab onto and feel alright with. I just don't understand why everything crawls under my fucking skin. It's making me sick and I can't watch any of it anymore.