I still can't bring myself to listen to that shit.
Hello it's me again.
It's four am and a distant helicopter outside is mimicking the whirr of my stomach. Thanksgiving had just passed and I'm already thinking about next year's feast. If had a choice between having freedom of speech or possessing some high-tech gravy dispenser, guess which acquirement I would choose. I'm in an intimate cahoots with gravy. Leave us be.
Haven't felt like sharing any thoughts lately. I've been sleeping on the foot of my bed for two months now, along with spending an inexcusable amount of time in the living room, melting into my couch. That in itself is an evident indication that I am experiencing a transitional time. The dull buzz of television programming I still find comforting, like some childlike relapse. I think it's the scheduling. Every program had a slot and you can always expect it to be on at that time. At this very moment in my life, I know ABC Family's schedule for when I need to numb my brain. I know the according channel of every late night talk show host. I know to tune into Oxygen when I feel like marathoning some show. Reality programs such as Becoming Nuns is slowly easing itself into my preferences. When I feel calm enough for decency, I watch HGtv. I wrap myself up with blankets and I fold myself into a vegetable, wasting away on my couch.
Furthermore, I've been having less and less desires to be outside, spending time with my own friends. At most, I'll hang out with jaws because, get fucking real, that's the most comfortable time I spend with anyone. I don't miss company, and I can't even tell if that's unhealthy. Tomorrow. Maybe I'll get out tomorrow. Or maybe I'll just hope that work calls me in. I spend my days off waiting to be at work because at least that way, I'm getting paid to be around anybody.
Speaking of, I have not been getting asshole customers lately. I've been getting a lot of great tippers actually. It might have something to do with the fact that I now pregame before any of my shifts, which means I unavoidably become more convivial and less scrutinizing. I like my job (right now). But I've already got my guard up for the moment I start hating it or being bored by it. Stay tuned.
We're spending the holidays in San Diego. We pleaded not to end up in souther California. We really pleaded.
I'm exhausted now.
We can all be exhausted.
