god damnit

my stomach divides and churns and i can feel the sickness rising up to my throat. it's putrid in my mouth, and it's bitter, and it's even sicker that it isn't supposed to make me puke. more like having someone else's puke in my mouth. why would i ever open my fucking mouth to gag on someone else's? it's just selfish of me. i'm dry-heaving fucked up images in my head. i could almost forget, if only my idle memory didn't flash me mercilessly.