These two really amazing people looking really amazing.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Day 09 - Photo that you took
I was looking through. Found this. Last winter.
These two really amazing people looking really amazing.
These two really amazing people looking really amazing.
DOTA DOTA DOTA
All day today, Jase and I listened to techno! Blasting. Jolting. Like always.
2/3 of the sunglasses are mine.
Yellow
Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know you know I love you so
You know I love you so
It was 10something at night, and I felt a pang in my chest. I laid in bed in attempt to fall asleep early. I always know, the later it gets, the worse I feel.
Every night I battle with myself, dial? don't dial? And every night so far, I've lost that battle with myself... and I'd dial. I just can't fall asleep with out our breathing. Even if our conversations every night lately have been a heart break, like we're nothing.. it's better than sleeping with my silence.
Every night, it's the same. Small talk, casual, catch up the day. Then inevitably, one of us asks a question, or one of us blurts it out. And we'll talk about us. And we'll push what we have to say to each other. And we'll come to a conclusion, or we'd compromise, or we'd say fuck it, or we'd cover it all up and say we're fine. Then I'd start murmuring, and he'd start getting quieter, and he'll say good night, and we'd be asleep.
But not last night.
Last night we ripped each other open and broke all of our silences. Last night I remembered how much my heart aches loving him. Loving us. And how much I love every minute of it. And we both knew it wasn't over. It's not over. And it won't be until it is.
We may not be for ever and for always. And we may not always keep our promises. We may not always be nice, and we may hurt most of the time... but we are our moment. We are the Here. The Now. We are the slow, heavy breaths we have to catch. We are the tug of war, the push and the pull. We're the kisses on the necks, the goosebumps and curled toes. We're the random smile while sitting blankly and silently in class. We're the last thoughts of the night. And the first thoughts of the morning. That's here. And that's now. And we are. Just are.
And right now, listening to this song, having this day, and thinking about tomorrow...
Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know for you i bleed myself dry
For you i bleed myself dry
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know you know I love you so
You know I love you so
It was 10something at night, and I felt a pang in my chest. I laid in bed in attempt to fall asleep early. I always know, the later it gets, the worse I feel.
Every night I battle with myself, dial? don't dial? And every night so far, I've lost that battle with myself... and I'd dial. I just can't fall asleep with out our breathing. Even if our conversations every night lately have been a heart break, like we're nothing.. it's better than sleeping with my silence.
Every night, it's the same. Small talk, casual, catch up the day. Then inevitably, one of us asks a question, or one of us blurts it out. And we'll talk about us. And we'll push what we have to say to each other. And we'll come to a conclusion, or we'd compromise, or we'd say fuck it, or we'd cover it all up and say we're fine. Then I'd start murmuring, and he'd start getting quieter, and he'll say good night, and we'd be asleep.
But not last night.
Last night we ripped each other open and broke all of our silences. Last night I remembered how much my heart aches loving him. Loving us. And how much I love every minute of it. And we both knew it wasn't over. It's not over. And it won't be until it is.
We may not be for ever and for always. And we may not always keep our promises. We may not always be nice, and we may hurt most of the time... but we are our moment. We are the Here. The Now. We are the slow, heavy breaths we have to catch. We are the tug of war, the push and the pull. We're the kisses on the necks, the goosebumps and curled toes. We're the random smile while sitting blankly and silently in class. We're the last thoughts of the night. And the first thoughts of the morning. That's here. And that's now. And we are. Just are.
And right now, listening to this song, having this day, and thinking about tomorrow...
Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know for you i bleed myself dry
For you i bleed myself dry
Monday, May 10, 2010
Day 08 - Photo that makes me sad/angry
Not that this picture makes me sad, or angry. Because it doesn't. It's just a nostalgic picture. When all I needed was the both of them to complete me.
I have the most saved texts from Jase
...Where have you been all my life?!
I've been sitting at your opposite bench waiting for you!
I've been sitting at your opposite bench waiting for you!
Tuesday, 1st of December 2009
December just began, and I remember we kept eating lunch at In N Out. I never did go to 4th anyway. I kept messing with his laptop. I recorded us eating our burgers for 5 straight minutes.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Day 07 - Photo that makes me happy day
We gotta stick together through this Ange. I need you. You make me smile all the time. You're my best friend.
My favorite Down's kid.
Yes I cropped out Alexis.
Pussssaaaaay!
-Jase
My favorite Down's kid.
Yes I cropped out Alexis.
Pussssaaaaay!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Day 06 - Tickles my fancy day
TAHOE.
If I were to make a list of places that I'd like to have my retirement, Tahoe would be up there. Where the beach is near and freezing, and the town is small, and the houses are rustic and beautiful. And nice restaurants don't open till after 5pm. The lake is clear and blue and I feel like I'm in the movie the Uninvited.
I so far have spent Tahoe going in and out of town. Freezing at the beach but refusing to leave. Snuggling under the covers. And feeling the slight sweetness of intoxication.
I've been in the quiet of my happy.
I so far have spent Tahoe going in and out of town. Freezing at the beach but refusing to leave. Snuggling under the covers. And feeling the slight sweetness of intoxication.
I've been in the quiet of my happy.
[insert photo here when I get back home]
Friday, May 7, 2010
When the doorbell rang...
I paid no mind.
I lingered in my parents' room, searching for some charger, attempting to fit the end of a cord to the wrong phone and the wrong phone to the end of a wrong cord.
I heard voices. I heard my dad's voice aloud.
I heard him say, "I didn't even recognize you!"
Only then I paid mind.
My head shot up.
My legs took miles as steps until he was right in front of me in my living room.
I didn't say anything for the longest seconds, if not the longest minutes. But he stood there. Like I always said he fit just right being there. Smiling his teethless smile, arms behind his back, wrapped around his uniform.
His face rounder. His skin tone darker. His eyes red from the lack of.. what I assumed..sleep.
All I remember is I felt my face stretch the biggest smile I've ever smiled in what seems like forever. Which in reality is probably only 3 months. But god these 3 months...
We didn't say much. Just the casual catch-up. He said in his ten days here, we'll have some time for a real catch up.
But as he walked to the front door, hugged him as I do, saying our for-now-goodbyes, I was washed over by inexplicable happiness. I looked out, and his car was parked there. I smiled again. He topped himself with his hat. I smiled again. I closed the door, locked it tight, and then I smiled.
I sat on my couch. Pensive. For those several minutes, I tried wrapping my head around what I was feeling. I felt as if no worries could touch me. No anxieties can break me down. I kept saying...that I was so so so so incredibly happy.
But better yet, as I slipped a little more into the night,
I realize that... I felt complete again.
For these ten days, I finally... feel complete again.
I heard voices. I heard my dad's voice aloud.
I heard him say, "I didn't even recognize you!"
Only then I paid mind.
My head shot up.
My legs took miles as steps until he was right in front of me in my living room.
I didn't say anything for the longest seconds, if not the longest minutes. But he stood there. Like I always said he fit just right being there. Smiling his teethless smile, arms behind his back, wrapped around his uniform.
His face rounder. His skin tone darker. His eyes red from the lack of.. what I assumed..sleep.
All I remember is I felt my face stretch the biggest smile I've ever smiled in what seems like forever. Which in reality is probably only 3 months. But god these 3 months...
We didn't say much. Just the casual catch-up. He said in his ten days here, we'll have some time for a real catch up.
But as he walked to the front door, hugged him as I do, saying our for-now-goodbyes, I was washed over by inexplicable happiness. I looked out, and his car was parked there. I smiled again. He topped himself with his hat. I smiled again. I closed the door, locked it tight, and then I smiled.
I sat on my couch. Pensive. For those several minutes, I tried wrapping my head around what I was feeling. I felt as if no worries could touch me. No anxieties can break me down. I kept saying...that I was so so so so incredibly happy.
But better yet, as I slipped a little more into the night,
I realize that... I felt complete again.
For these ten days, I finally... feel complete again.
Day 05 - Favorite quote of the day
" Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead."
— Charles Bukowski
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Day 04 - Favorite book
I don't think I'm ever just gonna post one on a favorite _
This one's easy.
This one's easy.
01. I was at the library. Saw it. Read it. Loved it. Bestfriended Mikal. She loves it too.
02. Recommended by the sleepyhead. She kept telling me how I'll like it. And I really it.
03. One summer, last summer. Another friend recommended. Darrrrrk.
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