I think this thing makes me seem dumber than I am. Like a little girl. A stupid little girl. Fearful and narcissistic. Maybe it's fitting. I haven't said or done anything tasteful in ages. I get angry a lot nowadays. Or I get really smart. Or insensitive. Class A asshole. And I also get very amused with my lousy behavior. I think those gargoyles got me now. The ones I found staring down at me that one night I wailed in the dark, on the floor, singing in between sobs a pathetic song I couldn't even hit the note of. That night I swore they'd never have me on my knees again. Or at the very least, see me on my knees. The difficulty level ranged, soared and sank. Now I feel like I might've plateaued to this dreary and desperate deception. The kind they might be whispering about. The kind that fools no one, but I've convinced myself anyway. I'm embarrassed anyway. Embarrassing myself anyway. Unapologetically graceless anyway.
