Silver Lining
"I hate small talk and the empty days"
|
I've attempted to post about 3 blogs over the past days, but I couldn't get my thoughts processed into something solid. I'm just...incredibly blank lately.
There are no lyrics to describe where I am at the moment. Even my radio has left me alone, and I've done just the same.
What this summer has done...
Company is not what it used to be. My friends don't play who they used to be. I see Jawsh, I see Ace, and that sufficed for all I COULD see. The relationship with my phone is breaking and fading like all my friendships hung on that very same thread. And maybe it's just the lack of stepping into each other's days once in a while, but we hardly do. We don't talk like we used to, and maybe they don't notice. Because I was the one that drew myself back, as slow as I could. But that mattered, and they did notice. When did I?
The best is that I won't wallow over this. I just remember it, and I feel that wave of some heavy grayness. This is just summer, isn't it?
I don't know when I began losing my way, but as of now, I'm not even aware that I'm still walking.
I trapped myself in my head all summer. I peeked my head out when I needed to breathe. And that took me, isolation in the subtlest of ways; a personal choice that I didn't realize till I found myself completely sealed when I needed to let go of the tightening in the pit of my stomach.
Why can't I say anything? I have difficulties even thinking to myself, afraid that someone would hear me. So I avoided.
One thing I received in all my nonsense is that I can be as alone as I can, and I could go on. And I could keep going until finally, I might just star in someone's thoughts. But I don't wait for that anymore.
Even my radio has left me alone, and I've done just the same.
There are no lyrics to describe where I am at the moment. Even my radio has left me alone, and I've done just the same.
What this summer has done...
Company is not what it used to be. My friends don't play who they used to be. I see Jawsh, I see Ace, and that sufficed for all I COULD see. The relationship with my phone is breaking and fading like all my friendships hung on that very same thread. And maybe it's just the lack of stepping into each other's days once in a while, but we hardly do. We don't talk like we used to, and maybe they don't notice. Because I was the one that drew myself back, as slow as I could. But that mattered, and they did notice. When did I?
The best is that I won't wallow over this. I just remember it, and I feel that wave of some heavy grayness. This is just summer, isn't it?
I don't know when I began losing my way, but as of now, I'm not even aware that I'm still walking.
I trapped myself in my head all summer. I peeked my head out when I needed to breathe. And that took me, isolation in the subtlest of ways; a personal choice that I didn't realize till I found myself completely sealed when I needed to let go of the tightening in the pit of my stomach.
Why can't I say anything? I have difficulties even thinking to myself, afraid that someone would hear me. So I avoided.
One thing I received in all my nonsense is that I can be as alone as I can, and I could go on. And I could keep going until finally, I might just star in someone's thoughts. But I don't wait for that anymore.
Even my radio has left me alone, and I've done just the same.
_
