Lover...

Maybe she's eclipsing everything else.


How is it that everything else feels ordinary?

Plain.

Forgettable.


I can't find a song more beautiful

a film more beautiful

a dream more beautiful.

Not a view more beautiful

or words more beautiful.


If I should be in fear

or in panic

should it set in soon?


If this will ever carve me out entirely


If this will ever...

On Wanting Something You Don't Have

Jealous.

After empathy came a wave of envy. A wave smattered with a faint recall of something festive. Something we all once knew before. Lime green. There goes the center seat in the back. No seat belt. I don't think about it often. But when I do, you should see me trying to blink back into clarity. 

After the wave of envy, I just wanted to scream it out. It seems so selfish. Surpassing selfishness even, and teetering a tip-toe to childishness. 

The apparition became a shadow. The apparition danced, but the shadow conversed into itself. For itself. A shattering transformation. Like a manifesting transcendance of something I'd always thought I'd have to use...but has never actually been mine. 

Denial trailed just footsteps behind me. 

Enter...

The Trial.