they're back

Also they never left. My eye is still fucked up. All I did all day was watch Wes Anderson films and nap. I accomplished everything on my to do list for the day, except for taking advil. I didn't want to be vertical long enough to get them. After taking a shit, I ate dinner and looked down the entire time because I kept tearing up. Everyone was already finished eating and my mother already began washing the dishes. I was poking at my plate, covering my face with my hair, and all I could feel was the sturdy weight of my chest caving in on me. Typically, I couldn't breathe and my vision began to blur. This has been me all week. There isn't a single place I go that doesn't make me want to melt or implode. I'm in a bad way again and it's never been this quiet before.