Week23.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Newly found music lately
Wilde Eyes - Local Natives
Pig - This Town Needs Guns
Cover the Roots Lower the Stems - Moving Mountains
You Like Me Too Much - The Beatles
Today is acoustics day
Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice; from the movie Closer. Beautiful song by this beautifully talented artist. I've been playing this all weekend.
Never Think - Robert Pattinson; I will always be proud of RobPattz for being such an amazing folk singer. It's almost unbearable that he's so good at what he does. Such a powerful song. I couldn't believe it was his song at first, considering the Twilight handprints all over him. But then again, the Twilight saga has amazing soundtracks.
Le Ciel Dans Une Chambre - Carla Bruni; She is a French and Italian songwriter, married to the president of France. She writes such pretty songs. Beautiful. I first heard this song in Skins and immediately recognized her voice. You might know her from "Quelqu'un ma dit"
Le Ciel Dans Une Chambre - Carla Bruni; She is a French and Italian songwriter, married to the president of France. She writes such pretty songs. Beautiful. I first heard this song in Skins and immediately recognized her voice. You might know her from "Quelqu'un ma dit"
New Slang - The Shins; This is one of my Ipod's most played song as of lately. The Shins always hit that spot when I need them too. And they kind of remind me of the songs that my dad used to play for roadtrips. Back when we didn't care what music was playing and parents had the power over the radio.
World Spins Madly On - The Weepies; I just love this song. It got me one night. I put it on repeat and I just... I just started crying. It was ridiculous. It's just such a beautiful song. I can't even begin to express..
Lump Sum - Bon Iver; Of course I cannot go on with out mentioning Bon Iver. This is one of the songs I can play with out worrying that I'll want to die after with sadness. The most played Bon Iver song, but certainly not the most favorable. Because I love all of them.
Little Garcon - Born Ruffians; This is the sound of autumn 2010. Driving around. The weather getting colder. Easily lovable song.
The Center of the World - Bright Eyes; I have been neglecting Bright Eyes for months now. Here's to them.
Lump Sum - Bon Iver; Of course I cannot go on with out mentioning Bon Iver. This is one of the songs I can play with out worrying that I'll want to die after with sadness. The most played Bon Iver song, but certainly not the most favorable. Because I love all of them.
Little Garcon - Born Ruffians; This is the sound of autumn 2010. Driving around. The weather getting colder. Easily lovable song.
The Center of the World - Bright Eyes; I have been neglecting Bright Eyes for months now. Here's to them.
I think that's good enough for now. I would share every single song I have in mind, but I would probably fill this shit up like it's nobody business.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Daylight Savings Sunday
This Sunday, in attempts to recover and regroup from such a dazzling weekend, I am in bed, listening to fuckgood music. It's dark in my room because it's gloomy outside. And it feels exactly like the Sunday that reminds me of all Sundays. This is a Sunday.
Now listen to this song that has me on a good Sunday mood. The Notwist, a fantastic German band.
Now listen to this song that has me on a good Sunday mood. The Notwist, a fantastic German band.
Digital Photography 101
When I went to class on Wednesday, my selection of photos received good reviews and good reactions from the class and the professor. Even though I submitted the photos that weren't initially intended for the project, I still patted myself on the shoulder for having commendable photos that I took leisurely.
This photo specifically. To be honest, when I took this shot and reviewed it in my camera, I thought nothing of it. I thought it was just another photo of these two. I ignored it and put it in the backburner of my Lightroom. But that final day of submitting my work, I looked at it again and saw something I hadn't seen before. And I can't exactly describe what I realized, but I suddenly felt strongly about this photo. The way her hand cradles his face, and how we can't quite tell what she's doing to him, but it's evident that he's mesmerized almost. Completely unaware of the rest of the world. Just her.
"Perfect timing," he said. But that's just the thing. It's so very rare for me to catch just the perfect moment. I got lucky with this. But this is what I want. I want a quick eye, a good eye. Photography seems like this simple, easy, peek and snap, get-that-pretty-shot concept. But fuck it is not. You have to be able to show beyond what is visually in the photograph. I decided. I don't want pretty pictures. Pretty pictures are easy. I'm looking for something more.
And to be honest, it's sucking the patience out of me. It's Sunday. It's Sunday and I still have not taken one single decent shot to submit on Wednesday. I need 20. I need...20.
This photo specifically. To be honest, when I took this shot and reviewed it in my camera, I thought nothing of it. I thought it was just another photo of these two. I ignored it and put it in the backburner of my Lightroom. But that final day of submitting my work, I looked at it again and saw something I hadn't seen before. And I can't exactly describe what I realized, but I suddenly felt strongly about this photo. The way her hand cradles his face, and how we can't quite tell what she's doing to him, but it's evident that he's mesmerized almost. Completely unaware of the rest of the world. Just her.
"Perfect timing," he said. But that's just the thing. It's so very rare for me to catch just the perfect moment. I got lucky with this. But this is what I want. I want a quick eye, a good eye. Photography seems like this simple, easy, peek and snap, get-that-pretty-shot concept. But fuck it is not. You have to be able to show beyond what is visually in the photograph. I decided. I don't want pretty pictures. Pretty pictures are easy. I'm looking for something more.
And to be honest, it's sucking the patience out of me. It's Sunday. It's Sunday and I still have not taken one single decent shot to submit on Wednesday. I need 20. I need...20.
Chronic
There is only one way I can express my weekend.
I transcended into another dimension.
No big deal.
I transcended into another dimension.
No big deal.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
That uneasy feeling...
...when you see with your own eyes the things you can't stand in a person. And you look at them with almost disbelief that they're showing exactly what you don't want to see. Everyone disappoints everyone. Not to be negative, at all. But it's true. It's part of the big picture and what not.
Maybe not uneasy. Maybe irritated.
Maybe not uneasy. Maybe irritated.
Tumblr it up
After the afternoon I just had being reminded of my love for my parents, this shit made me almost furious. Sighing.
I can't imagine such a hateful person. It's such a shame. Such an embarrassing shame to be this person.
I can't imagine such a hateful person. It's such a shame. Such an embarrassing shame to be this person.
We are vessels of life sent from God himself to this dreaded planet we call Earth
In other words, we wreak havoc. We fuck shit up.
This is Ace and I.
This is Ace and I.
.
Here's a picture of this little number, the girl who looks nearly exactly like Kristen Stewart except with out the edginess. She was prettier in the sense of a feminine feel. But Vag and I agreed that she's like..the Jewish Kristen Stewart. Different styles of acting as well. But she's nice too.
Also, Ace and I are an impressionable pair ESPECIALLY when it comes to movies based on one bitchin' night. After we watched it, we were literally set for good moods all night. Adventurous, we thought. We even rolled like thugs, douchebag sunglasses and leather weather night.
Last night we picked up the people of Fremont and drove to empty stores to sneak in. Circuit City was such a creepy, grimey, dirty, humid place. I kept expecting a hobo or some evil thing to jump out from the broken down ceiling and attack us all. Taggings everywhere. Just graffiti. We decided that we'll come back again on the day time to be able to see everything.
Like I said, impressionable. Ace and I fuck shit up.
Last night we picked up the people of Fremont and drove to empty stores to sneak in. Circuit City was such a creepy, grimey, dirty, humid place. I kept expecting a hobo or some evil thing to jump out from the broken down ceiling and attack us all. Taggings everywhere. Just graffiti. We decided that we'll come back again on the day time to be able to see everything.
Like I said, impressionable. Ace and I fuck shit up.
The Two Best People I Will Ever Know
An anecdote.
I finally got home at 12 in the afternoon today.
I finally got home at 12 in the afternoon today.
Once I entered my house, Carol was already asking me if I'm hungry, if I want to eat, "Let's eat let's eat come on." And if you know Carol, you do not deny Carol's offers. She just wants to feed you. Accept it! It makes her happy.
And so, we gathered everyone's orders and hopped in the car and drove everywhere to get everyone's food. She told me that she wanted to buy food for my mom and drop it off at work. And so we went to a Filipino restaurant.
When we arrived there, I found that Carol knew the people working there. And as I listened to their conversations, nearly zoning out, I noticed that they began talking about my parents. I heard her say, "I wish she was my daughter, I can only wish." (In Tagalog of course).
I tuned in on them then. And I listened to the kind words they spoke of my parents. They spoke as if I wasn't there, like I couldn't understand a thing they were saying. But they went on anyway. Carol continued to talk about how beautiful of a heart my mother has. And the lady she was speaking to agreed and referred to my parents as the two kindest people. A smile crept on my face then. The way Carol genuinely said she could only wish that my parents were her children really struck me. And the way this stranger, someone who is just slightly acquainted to my parents spoke of them with such sincerity made me gleam with pride.
I walked out of that restaurant with a smile stamped on my face. We then drove to my mother's work where we surprised her with lunch. We headed to her wing, and I immediately spotted her, busy working, but I yelled out "Mama!" anyway. It felt instinctive then that I would easily find her. Her face painted itself a light blush of pink and her eyes were pleading too much happiness. Her coworkers then commended on how loved she was and how lucky she was. And I once again gleamed with pride. I kissed my mama goodbye, and Carol and I happily left the building.
On our way home, Carol spoke endlessly of my parents. She talked about how hardworking and strong and kind and welcoming and loving they are. She even said that my mother was a patron when they worked together. Everyone loved and respected her. And the same exact way with my dad. And I was proven then, more certain than I ever was, that my parents are meant to be together. She became sad once she said, "I'll miss all of you so much..." And I felt her sadness then too. Carol loves our family so much. Her love for us is so incredibly tangible that it's almost incomprehensible. I know that she'll keep playing the grandmother figure she is now to us.
Sometimes, I neglect to acknowledge the two most amazing people in my life. It's sad really. Because I know, no matter who I meet in the future, no one will ever compare to my parents. And I'm confident to say that even if they weren't my parents, if I'd met them, I know that I would agree that they are the two most incredible, unstoppable, and incomparable people. If you knew my parents, you'd know exactly what I'm talking about.
"I've never met two parents more in love than yours." -Ace. And she's right. On top of being the best people, they're also terribly in love. Which proves to the world more than the world already knows. They're not just a pair of people living under one house, tending for and loving their children and our family. They are also filled to the brim with their love for each other. They're a team. And they have always been a team. Ever since they met in high school.
And so, Carol and I arrived home. And by then my heart was overwhelmed with the thought of my parents.
Sometimes I need that little push to keep going. And for the past days, weeks, I have been waiting for that little push. I think I found it today, just what I needed.
I think my parents will be legends. My parents can move mountains. My parents can show this world what everyone is missing out on. If the world ever crumbles to a ruin, I know for certain that my parents' love will live on.
And so, we gathered everyone's orders and hopped in the car and drove everywhere to get everyone's food. She told me that she wanted to buy food for my mom and drop it off at work. And so we went to a Filipino restaurant.
When we arrived there, I found that Carol knew the people working there. And as I listened to their conversations, nearly zoning out, I noticed that they began talking about my parents. I heard her say, "I wish she was my daughter, I can only wish." (In Tagalog of course).
I tuned in on them then. And I listened to the kind words they spoke of my parents. They spoke as if I wasn't there, like I couldn't understand a thing they were saying. But they went on anyway. Carol continued to talk about how beautiful of a heart my mother has. And the lady she was speaking to agreed and referred to my parents as the two kindest people. A smile crept on my face then. The way Carol genuinely said she could only wish that my parents were her children really struck me. And the way this stranger, someone who is just slightly acquainted to my parents spoke of them with such sincerity made me gleam with pride.
I walked out of that restaurant with a smile stamped on my face. We then drove to my mother's work where we surprised her with lunch. We headed to her wing, and I immediately spotted her, busy working, but I yelled out "Mama!" anyway. It felt instinctive then that I would easily find her. Her face painted itself a light blush of pink and her eyes were pleading too much happiness. Her coworkers then commended on how loved she was and how lucky she was. And I once again gleamed with pride. I kissed my mama goodbye, and Carol and I happily left the building.
On our way home, Carol spoke endlessly of my parents. She talked about how hardworking and strong and kind and welcoming and loving they are. She even said that my mother was a patron when they worked together. Everyone loved and respected her. And the same exact way with my dad. And I was proven then, more certain than I ever was, that my parents are meant to be together. She became sad once she said, "I'll miss all of you so much..." And I felt her sadness then too. Carol loves our family so much. Her love for us is so incredibly tangible that it's almost incomprehensible. I know that she'll keep playing the grandmother figure she is now to us.
Sometimes, I neglect to acknowledge the two most amazing people in my life. It's sad really. Because I know, no matter who I meet in the future, no one will ever compare to my parents. And I'm confident to say that even if they weren't my parents, if I'd met them, I know that I would agree that they are the two most incredible, unstoppable, and incomparable people. If you knew my parents, you'd know exactly what I'm talking about.
"I've never met two parents more in love than yours." -Ace. And she's right. On top of being the best people, they're also terribly in love. Which proves to the world more than the world already knows. They're not just a pair of people living under one house, tending for and loving their children and our family. They are also filled to the brim with their love for each other. They're a team. And they have always been a team. Ever since they met in high school.
And so, Carol and I arrived home. And by then my heart was overwhelmed with the thought of my parents.
Sometimes I need that little push to keep going. And for the past days, weeks, I have been waiting for that little push. I think I found it today, just what I needed.
I think my parents will be legends. My parents can move mountains. My parents can show this world what everyone is missing out on. If the world ever crumbles to a ruin, I know for certain that my parents' love will live on.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
When my parents fight, I feel like a kid again hiding out in my room
They haven't fought in years. They haven't had such high decibel arguments since I was in Elementary if I can recall. Maybe not that long ago, but the last one I can remember, I listened to them until the darkest hours of the night, fighting about the things I can't recall now.
I remember they sat in the dining room and went about their arguments as if we weren't asleep upstairs. Nothing ever became physical but the fight would rise and fall just as their voices had. I remember hoping that the next day would be alright. But of course, I imagined then my life being slashed down in the middle. A divorce, I thought. Within the next days after, I had forgotten about it, and so did we all. And ever since then, nothing had been as bad.
But now I'm sitting in my room again, listening to their seemingly endless argument, typing this out as if I'm writing on one of my flowery and pretty decorated journals that I would record everything in the darkness of my room on my twin-sized bed. Except this isn't my flowery and pretty decorated little journal. This bed I'm on isn't twin-sized. And I am now far away from my elementary days. And I know everything is going to be alright... because it always ends up being alright. But sometimes it's just so appropriately twisted for me to think of the worse case scenarios.
9 isn't 19 anymore. And this is a sad reminiscence.
I remember they sat in the dining room and went about their arguments as if we weren't asleep upstairs. Nothing ever became physical but the fight would rise and fall just as their voices had. I remember hoping that the next day would be alright. But of course, I imagined then my life being slashed down in the middle. A divorce, I thought. Within the next days after, I had forgotten about it, and so did we all. And ever since then, nothing had been as bad.
But now I'm sitting in my room again, listening to their seemingly endless argument, typing this out as if I'm writing on one of my flowery and pretty decorated journals that I would record everything in the darkness of my room on my twin-sized bed. Except this isn't my flowery and pretty decorated little journal. This bed I'm on isn't twin-sized. And I am now far away from my elementary days. And I know everything is going to be alright... because it always ends up being alright. But sometimes it's just so appropriately twisted for me to think of the worse case scenarios.
9 isn't 19 anymore. And this is a sad reminiscence.
The Scum of all Scums; Ace
See how she's wearing my hat. Mmhm.
I feel guilty when I'm not home for dinners during the week days
But I cannot help it.
I always choose to lolligag with my friends. It's always like a strange obsession hanging out with them.
You guys, I'm exhausted.
You guys, I'm exhausted.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
'Electrifying?'
Chills up and down my spine.
Toes curling.
Teeth tingling.
Uncontrollable shivering.
Undeniable smiling.
Abnormal breathing.
Driven wild.
Toes curling.
Teeth tingling.
Uncontrollable shivering.
Undeniable smiling.
Abnormal breathing.
Driven wild.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
The CREEP and Raemon the Not Even My Boyfriend
Alright, so. A recent creepy news reached me.
Some kid from Kennedy is going around telling people that I am his girl friend. And it is with out any form of flattery considering that I feel violated because he saves pictures of me on his phone and shows people. FUCKING WHAT.
The first time I heard of it, this kid told my sister that some guy is telling everyone that I'm his girlfriend. We took it lightly then because it sounded more jokingly.
But this afternoon, Ace saw him at McDonald's and immediately she asked him, "Hey Kenny show me a picture of your girlfriend!" He responded with, "what, who told you that!" But everyone huddled around his phone anyway and there it appeared, a picture of me.
Ace protested, "KENNY THAT'S NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND, THAT'S MY BESTFRIEND."
"I KNOW SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND." he argues.
"NO SHE'S NOT, SHE'S MY BESTFRIEND."
"I KNOW, SHE DOESN'T WANT ME SHOWING PEOPLE HER PICTURES."
This is around the time she called and told me that she experienced it herself.
And so, the angry wolf that I was, texted Rae telling him about it.
Me: FUCK. THIS KID IS SHOWING PICTURES OF ME STILL TELLING PEOPLE I'M HIS GIRLFRIEND
Rae: "Tell him to stop or else he'll face the wrath of immense power and be slapped by the hand of God above us."
Me: -_____________- a Christian threat? THAT SHIT NEVER WORKS
Rae: "BY THE WAND OF VOLDEMORT"
I feel so very safe knowing you can protect me from people who violate me Rae..
The first time I heard of it, this kid told my sister that some guy is telling everyone that I'm his girlfriend. We took it lightly then because it sounded more jokingly.
But this afternoon, Ace saw him at McDonald's and immediately she asked him, "Hey Kenny show me a picture of your girlfriend!" He responded with, "what, who told you that!" But everyone huddled around his phone anyway and there it appeared, a picture of me.
Ace protested, "KENNY THAT'S NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND, THAT'S MY BESTFRIEND."
"I KNOW SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND." he argues.
"NO SHE'S NOT, SHE'S MY BESTFRIEND."
"I KNOW, SHE DOESN'T WANT ME SHOWING PEOPLE HER PICTURES."
This is around the time she called and told me that she experienced it herself.
And so, the angry wolf that I was, texted Rae telling him about it.
Me: FUCK. THIS KID IS SHOWING PICTURES OF ME STILL TELLING PEOPLE I'M HIS GIRLFRIEND
Rae: "Tell him to stop or else he'll face the wrath of immense power and be slapped by the hand of God above us."
Me: -_____________- a Christian threat? THAT SHIT NEVER WORKS
Rae: "BY THE WAND OF VOLDEMORT"
I feel so very safe knowing you can protect me from people who violate me Rae..
Tuesdays are the worst
I woke up before the sun even rose just to finish the short story I had to write for English. That damned bastard short story ruined my a good mood.
- Went to class.
- Took a test.
- Killed a test.
- Hurried home.
- Made myself the best pancakes anyone could ever make.
- Ate almost all of it, and by all I mean barely.
- Then off to class again.
- Took another test.
- FAILED miserably, I know it.
- Went home convinced that I'm now legally dumb as shit
- And now ...
- it's homework time.
- Watching Black Swan
- Then cut up some shirts.
- Then finish more homework.
- Then more class.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Giffin'
Rae: Want to know what I looked like when I first saw you?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Rae: Want to see what I looked like when you left?
Me: Show me.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Me: Show me.
Rae: Want to see what I looked like when you left?
Me: Show me.
The Strokes new album out soon
I have been waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And excited and excited and excited. This is what I was supposed to watch last Saturday night, but instead I watched Devil...
March 21st everyone. Angles.
March 21st everyone. Angles.
Go steady with me.
My adoration for Tegan and Sara lives on. I'm usually more fond of Sara's songs like this one, intending it or not. Off their latest album, this is definitely one of my favorite songs. There's just something about Sara's songs that I always seem to familiarize with more. They get stuck in my head more. Not saying Tegan's songs aren't amazing as well because they are, they all are!
I want to see them live.
I want to see them live.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
A little over 6 months
I call this, the longest entry in the world.
I just want to write and write about us.
I just want to write and write about us.
There are moments in our lives that completely alter us from who we once were and what we once knew. Moments that we can't turn back from. Moments that shed light to everything we couldn't see before.
My moment was in a dark, humid living room lit by the soft yellow lights of a lamp one summer night. My moment was a pair of eyes trying to burn a hole through me, trying to grab me and wrap itself around me. My moment was effortless and brown at the irises and left me with an awe that I knew I would instantly absorb with everything that I knew of that night. I remember dilated eyes and the smiles that would soon after tear my life into pieces, only to be rebuilt to the unrecognizable piece it is now.
This was the night I met Rae. And this night signified how wrong I have been about myself and about numerous things I thought I knew of. This night was the beginning of a collapse that I had been anticipating. This night was the beginning of the storm he brought me, and the unbelievable beauty it came along with.
For as long as I had known him, I have understood the fact that Rae is an incredibly shy and nearly socially awkward person. He's pleasant, but he would always try to search for something inside him to hold him back. But the night we met, he stood in front of me with the confidence that swept me off my steady feet. He looked at me as if he'd known me all along and that he was now with the victorious bliss of finally finding my eyes. He spoke to me as if I was another wonder of the world. I felt the creep of his smiles and the weight of his gaze. And I thought to myself, God who is this? I found the need to be near him and I felt his need to be near me. I didn't want to end whatever energy we were creating and to be flat, I nearly forgot about the rest of the world for just a second...
After hours of conversations and brewing attraction, I left abruptly and quickly. I left the room with a sudden goodbye and with out his contact in my phone nor mine in his. I left with a smile and a fading new hope. I sat in the car with my friends and wanted so badly to keep bringing his name up. But even as I bit my lip, I let myself slip.
When Ace stayed that night, I was given the chance to let as much as I want slip. I told her about our chemistry and how strangely connected we were with an almost blinding immediacy. But I recall letting that new found hope fade as quick as it came. I fell asleep that night with an agreement with myself that I won't try to find any other contact with him, and that what happened that night was only that night. I convinced myself that it was just a moment, nothing further.
The next few days, the hopeless romantic part of me, a very very very very small part of me, hoped that maybe he would find me. But with my better relief, he didn't. And every day, I continued on with a reminder that he will remain more as a faint memory. But to my surprise, a few days later, he had indeed attempted to find me. Added me, how nice of him I thought. I still didn't think anything of it because he hadn't said a word after. And so my slight new hope almost dwindled to just that memory of him.
Another few days and there he was, trying to chat with me. It was astounding because I coincidentally signed on that night in particular, and knowing me then, I almost never did. And so when he caught me, he caught me good. That chat led us to a conversation, and he ended up calling me and we spoke until the early hours of the morning...
That night, I sang to him because I'd lost a bet.
And needless to say, everything on is history!
We were challenged by the rest of the world, I remember. We were faced with obstacles that I hadn't asked for, but something about him made everything worth it. Our mistakes led us to understanding more and learning acceptance and to just move on.
I remember, on the roughest nights, he would ask me if he was worth it. Every night. "Am I worth it?" "Am I still worth it?" And every night, I never hesitated to say yes. And I fought for him. It almost didn't matter to me that I was piled on with the things I hadn't done. I was wrongly perceived and blamed for things I hadn't done and things I had no control over. But I accepted it all. I took it all in because I couldn't erase the fact that he was meant just that much to me. And I was called every damned name in the book and I thought my heart would break. I thought I couldn't take it. I was called stupid for giving so much for a "stranger." But I knew myself better than any of them. And I knew that I wouldn't just do this for any guy, not even the best guys I once knew. And so to be compelled by someone that strongly... I knew I couldn't let him go.
A little over 6 months later, and we're here now. The storm has calmed and I fall asleep every night knowing that meeting Raemon gave me the chance to be the better part of me.
I have found someone who has made me realize that I am completely capable of accepting everything about someone, the good, the bad, the ugly. We're not perfect, and we never ever will be. But I get to keep him. I get to be with him. And I get to make him happy everyday.
Raemon taught me to be kind. He taught me to be patient and to have faith in the things worth while. He shows me the better part of me. His adoration for me is warm and tangible. And we're only just beginning. One day, he is going to be all mine and I'll be the best possible version of me and I'll make him the happiest person in the world. That's all I have ever really wanted of him. But for now, our journey is just beginning.
Certainty, I always said. The most compelling person I have ever, ever met.
Bab and Charlie
Cheers for shit quality photos.
via camera phone.
Rae tends to want to do things to entertain Charlie or merely get his attention. Last night, the little punk jumped on him singing. Happiness all around.
Recognize!
All my sexy self as Mikal's not Macbook's wallpaper. I'll conquer her Macbook. Eventually. But for now, I'm proud to say I got her PC.
...
...
Saturday, March 5, 2011
To overcome my fear,
via camera phone
I made pancakes. And it was not a pretty picture for me. I gagged and gagged and let the chills run up and down my body. But as far as pancakes go, I made them in honor of Andrushka. And in respect towards my hunger. They were stupendously delicious.
The Adjustment Bureau
Rae and I have watched a lot of movies together, but this one is by far my favorite that I have watched with him. Not my favorite movie, but favorite to watch.
There was something about the movie that gave me a lump in my throat and an ache in my gut. I think it was their fight to keep each other. And his irrevocable certainty. And I do I do I do just love Emily Blunt.
I feel like watching it again.
There was something about the movie that gave me a lump in my throat and an ache in my gut. I think it was their fight to keep each other. And his irrevocable certainty. And I do I do I do just love Emily Blunt.
I feel like watching it again.
Show at Shakers!
Last night, I took Rae to a show organized by my friends.
I was aware of him at first, unsure whether the show would bore him or if he wouldn't enjoy the music at all. But to my surprise, once Jarrad's band started playing and he was blaring his screams and the kids were being their hardcore selves in the center, he turned to me with wide eyes and showed me his goosebumps. I laughed in relief and we enjoyed the rest of the night fighting for air and getting stickier with the absorption of everyone's sweat in the room. A hundred something people in such a small room, the windows were fogged up.
Disclaimer: Not my photos, Alex's Drachnik's photos! My camera could not take it in there so for safety and assurance, I put it in the car.
Rae's favorite he says was She Waves the Flag of course, because Andrey! He was so proud of Andrey it was lovely.
Nick always makes the funniest, squirmiest faces.
I am thoroughly happy that I decided to take him with me and experience his first hardcore show with me. I'm just happy he loved it.
Source: Alex Drachnik's Facebook!
Friday, March 4, 2011
This is all I want
#October 2010
I just want to wear short shorts again. I'm sick of not shaving my legs. I'm sick of not exposing them. I'm sick of pants! God damned pants.
THIS. IS ALL. I WANT.
I want my legs to breathe again and I want to wear my DIY cut up shirts that expose my rib cages. I'm having the early spring itch. I need to last through until the weather is mine again!
THIS. IS ALL. I WANT.
I want my legs to breathe again and I want to wear my DIY cut up shirts that expose my rib cages. I'm having the early spring itch. I need to last through until the weather is mine again!
Their long awaited entry
Meet Chebby and Vaggy.
Matching Hollister hoodz, the blue one is mine.
Matching white girl flip flops.
Doing what they do best.
Fucking shit up.
Chebby and Vaggy are two solid biffles. I'm proud of them. Proving the world that you just can't fuckwidit.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
One of the finest white girl asses I have ever laid eyes upon
"No jeans could ever fit this ass."
-I don't quite remember her exact quote but it went a little something like that. I think I drooled when she said it. She wasn't being conceited about it. She was just stating the truth about her donk.
Stale bread and sand paper
via camera phone
I spend most of my day driving from one destination to the other. I bloody well need to clean my car. The sight of the inside is atrocious. I am almost ashamed of it.
Pearl
via camera phone
Lightroom edits of pictures from my phone? Hello Rae's hand. Almost frightening and dramatic hand..
Lightroom edits of pictures from my phone? Hello Rae's hand. Almost frightening and dramatic hand..
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Gray on Gray
Sometimes, I let myself come to terms that I am a talentless spectator. I'm scum!
I can greatly appreciate the beautiful things in life such as music, literature, film, art, etc etc. But maybe I don't belong in that category. Any of it. I can't find myself with it. I am outside of what all the things I love.
It breaks my damned heart that I am not a musician, most of all. How is it that I can love music and let it be the one aspect of my life that I am completely naked to, but I am not actually a musician myself? I can appreciate everything about music, criticize it, adore it, indulge in it, recognize it. But that's it. Good music is such a part of my life but I am not part of music. It saddens me. I have always wanted to have such an affect on someone that music has done to me. With all my favorite musicians, I commend them for ripping open into people's live, for letting them empathize and feel certain things that signify all our connections. If I only had the power to do that...
But this is just me being a pessimist for now. In the long run, I'll find something. I'll find that one passion that will leave its mark. I will leave my mark. I have always told the amazing people in my life the greatness that they will show this world, but I think it's time I tell myself that. One day, I will show this world my greatness. One day, I won't be the scum of the earth anymore.
Watch your girl shine.
It breaks my damned heart that I am not a musician, most of all. How is it that I can love music and let it be the one aspect of my life that I am completely naked to, but I am not actually a musician myself? I can appreciate everything about music, criticize it, adore it, indulge in it, recognize it. But that's it. Good music is such a part of my life but I am not part of music. It saddens me. I have always wanted to have such an affect on someone that music has done to me. With all my favorite musicians, I commend them for ripping open into people's live, for letting them empathize and feel certain things that signify all our connections. If I only had the power to do that...
But this is just me being a pessimist for now. In the long run, I'll find something. I'll find that one passion that will leave its mark. I will leave my mark. I have always told the amazing people in my life the greatness that they will show this world, but I think it's time I tell myself that. One day, I will show this world my greatness. One day, I won't be the scum of the earth anymore.
Watch your girl shine.
Disintegration.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
You know that feeling...
When you can't wait to get home to reunite with something? Like... when I discover an affinity for a certain album and I cannot wait to just finish up with my day and be home to listen to it. Or having a movie that you just want to unwind to. Or for instance, today.
Tuesdays are my busiest days during the week. I am swamped from 9 to 9. But they are probably the most rewarding days. But today specifically. During my break until my night class, I sunk my teeth into The Picture of Dorian Gray, my little little book. I read it this afternoon and found myself so engorged and euphoric. I felt kind of ridiculous, it was like reading a book for the first time. But my read was short-lived considering that I did have work to finish up. And so I had to scrape myself off my bed and physically make myself finish my work. Then after my work, I went to class, and all I had on my mind was going back home and reading.
I am absolutely in love with this book. I didn't realize that I would love it more this time around. It is quite excellent and I highly recommend this read.
Oscar Wilde... Mmmmmm...
Tuesdays are my busiest days during the week. I am swamped from 9 to 9. But they are probably the most rewarding days. But today specifically. During my break until my night class, I sunk my teeth into The Picture of Dorian Gray, my little little book. I read it this afternoon and found myself so engorged and euphoric. I felt kind of ridiculous, it was like reading a book for the first time. But my read was short-lived considering that I did have work to finish up. And so I had to scrape myself off my bed and physically make myself finish my work. Then after my work, I went to class, and all I had on my mind was going back home and reading.
I am absolutely in love with this book. I didn't realize that I would love it more this time around. It is quite excellent and I highly recommend this read.
Oscar Wilde... Mmmmmm...
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